thought

the thought of what happened 3 months ago was bothering me again. the thought of how to be a better person. but it turns out that I am sitting here still with the same hope. how to be a better person? I am even still thinking about the tone of voice that I should've used when chatting with my friend 3 months ago. my mind even forced me to remember what i should've said to my math teacher last February. the regret kept coming and haunting me endlessly. is this a thought that will continue to haunt my head? Is this a curse? Is this a congenital disease? do I really have to live side by side with my thoughts that do not even side with myself?