Him...

  Him… 

  He insists He loves me more, but He cannot. Why? Because He surpasses me in everything already; regardless of being younger. 

  He cannot love me more than I Him. Why? Because if He loves me more than I Him, I have nothing that makes me appealing in any way.

  Is He aware? 

Is He aware of the immense envy I feel looking at the woman He looks at? Is He aware of the issues I have with body, wishing I could be the woman on His screen that He stops and stares at? Because if we were not together, I know He would not stop for my posts. 

  Is He aware?

Is He aware of the anxiety I have, the constant anxiety, that He will leave me? Is He aware of the effort I put in, trying to make myself good enough for Him? Is He aware that I will most likely never believe Him when He calls me pretty? For I have seen what He prefers and enjoys, and I am not that.

  Is He fucking aware?

Aware of the silent cries at night, tears streaking my face, missing Him, missing how we used to be? Blaming myself for every bad mood He’s in, for everything harmful thought that crosses His mind. Wanting nothing more than to be fully loved and good enough for Him.

  Is He aware that I will never utter a word of this to Him, for fear of Him realizing His mistakes and feeling the need to change?

  Is He aware that I would kill myself if He so much as asked?

  Is He Fucking Aware?

-Hi! Itz Cam! I decided that im gonna start posting sum of my writing thngz... so yea :3