it's summer... now what?

i didn't think i'd make it this far, but now that i'm here, i might as well enjoy myself, right?

if you'd have told me this time last year that i'd have a boyfriend, a nice guitar, mcr tickets, and i wouldn't be able to remember the last time i'd drank a drop of liquor, i'd have told you to fuck off and quit telling me fairytales. i won't lie and say that life is perfect right now, that i'm happy with every little thing. but for the first time in a very long time, i'm content with where i think i'm going.

i don't understand a lick of japanese and i don't much like mainstream pop music, but i'm listening to city pop while drinking a strawberry energy drink. i don't know what's gotten into me, i think my body has been craving the freedom of summer for so long that it didn't know what to do with itself. here in florida we're in the awkward stage of weather where no one's really sure if it's rainy season yet, but i've been enjoying the pitter patter against my window every once in a while, nature's lullaby reassuring me that i'm okay. i went roller skating today and saw a herd of bunnies. the cicadas were so loud i could hear them over my blasting music and when i got home just before the sun set, i cranked my fan up and took a lukewarm shower. each year, i forget this blissful feeling. and each year, it seems to come back stronger. 

i'm not used to this rambling poetic style of writing, but i've been a lot more sappy recently. i guess that's what being in love does to a guy. i don't really feel like dying anymore and sometimes i get to hold a cute boy's big warm hand. it's pretty cool. 

my bones are too small to hold all my hopes and dreams. dreams of cramped vans and tours and new york city, of a shared apartment with a balcony, a table for two, a life straight out of a comic book, torn between settling down and fluttering all over the place. maybe someday. but right now i'm managing with what i have, and that's the most i can ask of myself.

this summer, i'm looking forward to taking things slow. allowing myself to do so. baking with a miyazaki movie in the background, roller skating and listening to a good cd, writing letters by candlelight, finding a good wall to tag, watching shitty 80s horror movies, being in love and living forever. 

my bones ache, but i can forget all about my pain because i'm seeing a movie with someone very special soon. happy summer, hoping for more rain soon. *^u^*

some pics: