the vision i have for life

due to me having a very painted and almost maladaptive inner world, i have a lot of plans and goals in life i want to accomplish. i do feel like i am just wasting my life away in this room though. very suffocating.

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i want to move back home. i want to live in a beautiful midwest charming victorian home. i want to buy it and renovate it just because i want the skills and the labor of love to say, "i did this thing". i want to live in a vibrant queer or just accepting neighborhood and get to know my neighbors. i want to have a food garden in my backyard. i want to be a regular at my local underground shows and drag performances. i want to be someone who advocates for my community groups, but also more marginalized groups of people !! i want a sanitary, commercial grade kitchen or a quaint gothic home kitchen with wooden and steel alike. i want to learn the electric guitar and the bass guitar. i want to learn the drums. i want to learn better piano skills. i want to be a vibrant outspoken artist. i want to make captivating videos, take stunning pictures of the natural world around me. i want to break into graffiti and mark my place in the world while sending the message of communist revolutionary optimism. i want to learn and cook dishes from around the world and connect through food. i want to learn and sing and dance to every language. (imagine my feelings finding out most self proclaimed "polyglots" dont really exist, cue my sadness) i feel like barbie in this way, wanting to do every career and hobby, but only having the time frame and energy of one body, mind, and soul to achieve all of it.

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