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I feel so alone and trapped, i dont want to be a mom or a wife i want to work and make my own money again get my nails and hair done actually be able to take care of myself and do what i want to do whenever i want to do it i never wanted to be a mom i was forced into having children 4 innocent lives now depend on me 24/7 365 and i am utterly so detatched i have 7-8 years before my 2 eldest are grown and with my b.p.d and bipolar 1 i want to kill myself all day everyday but being around my kids keeps me alive when i dont want to be i am so done and trapped i wish someone could help me
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ravenkrieg
i'm so sorry you were forced into it, i can't imagine how trapped you must feel. i genuinely hope it will get better for you.
thank you for the good vibes i am strong and very stubborn but my children dont deserve this either mind you i never show how i feel but i am sure they can feel it and its just not fair to them either way i am trying through therapy as well but feeling like i just want to run and be my own person doesnt seem to go away
by Auna MorningStar; ; Report
maybe you'll be able to be your own person one day. i know i'm not a mother but you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. you're trying to cope, you're aware and try to get better. you can be proud of yourself for that, it is not that easy. some people would just deny what's "wrong" in their life. sending lots of love to you and your kids. :)
by ravenkrieg; ; Report