emotional manipulation ??

its not easy to suppress hate, no matter what i do its never enough, i hate adults, they always find a way to make me feel guilty, ill be the one apologizing for everything in the end.

Being emotionally manipulated by your family is genuinely not easy, everyday i feel so pressured, so tired i just go on my pc and doomscroll on pinterest or spacehey making new friends, people that treat me better than my family, i cant say i hate them, i never can, they'll find out and end up guilt tripping me, saying things that make my heart ACHE and ill be the one apologizing for their doing in the end, the feeling of wanting to get better but hating that bland happiness so you get worse for different kind of attention, pity, thats what i want, but no matter what i do im just never enough, either my trauma isnt enough or my hard work isnt enough, i suppose my family loves to make me feel that way, i dont even know what to do with myself anymore, im so tired of this reality! anywho 🙏BLESS🙏 have a gooooooooood evening!!