Senior year update

Senior Year Update!

This year was pretty awesome. September of last year I got back with my ex, and we’ve been dating since. Celebrating 2 years together in a month (we don’t count the months we were apart bc it gets too confusing and technical. Even through our fights, i love her more than anything. She’s the only person that’s feels like home. That’s feels.. right. I know I’m young and this is stupid she’s the only person I could actually imagine getting married to. Idk i just really love her.

My relationship with my family has only gotten worse. There’s not much I can say or do. I’m trying to move out, I actually have a go fund me so I can move out as soon as I can. In my next blog I’ll link it. To make a long story short, I’m not safe there. Mentally or physically. I’m just tired of being abused. I’m touring a place on Monday, if they like me then I can hopefully get it in 2 weeks. Though I don’t think i can handle living there that long. I’ve been staying at others houses for the time being.

I’m planning to jump back into YouTube, i feel bad for not posting in so long, but so much is going on. I bought an editing software and I have a video planned to come out next week. Tiktok I’m getting into my grove, and insta i’m least focused on. Streaming on twitch is fun, but being hit on and messaged afterwards is driving me away. People on the internet can be so crude :(. But I stream every week now! So i guess that’s s plus. I need more mods. I’m just trying to get everything sorted for college:p

College!! I’m not entirely sure where I’m going yet.  I want to be a film maker. I love everything about film making. Acting, directing, screenwriting, costuming, filming. All of it. The only thing I don’t have the best experience is editing and I don’t really like editing. Though everyone’s telling me it’s unrealistic and I should go into something else. I thought maybe nursing or being a teacher in other countries. But the problem with nursing is: I can’t handle large amounts of blood. Or poop. Or throw up. Or any bodily fluids, so kinda a useless nurse. English teacher in other countries is better but, money making wise it isn’t that great. I think I’ll just follow my dreams :3

Speaking of film, I’m starting my first out of school film project. I’m going over the script and editing things here and there. I plan to cast early June and start filming later that month. I’m hoping to have my place by then <33

To close things up, I’m finally getting better mental health wise. I’m on medication that makes me so much better than I was a year ago. I still need an anti-depressant but they can’t find one that works for me. Currently my therapist and psychiatrist are working together to decide a diagnosis. They’re sure i have a personality disorder, just not entirely sure which one. It’s between bipolar and BPD is what I’m told, I’m just vibing.