Writing No. 1 ☆

Decided I can post my lil writings here!! It's a lil sad/vent-y.. so beewaaarreee ooOoOOooO...

I think this 1 was ab a prior fp I had!! Feel free 2 give any feedback, too!

Lots of luv, and I hope you enjoy ♡ - Xavier ☆

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The angel yearns. It yearns for a connection, someone more than just a “friend” to satisfy its hunger.

“What's the hunger?” You may ask; though that'd be a stupid question. Most everyone has the need for someone close to them, the urge to have someone to last forever with. But the angel is different.

It feeds from the people it makes the host believe they love, only to make them catch eyes on another. Though, sometimes, it'll stick to one person. That is the one it tends to have an infatuation with.

The host may question why they want this person to stay, why they need their opinion and approval so vigorously; they don't think that way for long. The host will often be brainwashed into the delusions the angel presses, the porcelain thing thinking it's doing well. Thinking it's helping. 

This angel is no guardian for me. It's the equivalent to the devil, convincing me to love people I cannot have and believe it’s real love when I know better. I should know better by now, shouldn't I? 

Though I can't lose them. Gods above forbid He Leave; I'd topple over as if I was a crumbling statue, too tired to hold its own weight after so long. He's favored above all else in my brain, as much as I wished He wasn't. And it's the angel’s fault.

That damned angel, who took all of those hits, all of the touches, all of the screams and shouts for me in the past; it's its fault. Why must I love Him so much when I know He'll never love me the same, or the same amount? I may write these rants of delusion, never to see the light of day, but I still care about my own wellbeing.

I think I still matter.

I hope.