you think we would've learned our lesson by now

may 29 2025

its hard to remember that we used to be in love. i don't even remember what it feels like to be loved by you, but i know you'll never be able to forget what it's like to be loved by me

i find myself somewhat indifferent towards you now, often looking at your "sweet" (but we both know they're only fueled by lust) messages with a curled lip. i use my time alone to think about how we even got to that point

i ask myself what would i do if i could go back in time. would i rather never meet you and possibly be better, or would i rather go through it again just to experience it one last time? unfortunately, i still don't have an answer

because without you i wouldn't be who i am today for better or for worse, but are we even worth reliving? i don't really think so

we were young and still figuring ourselves out. can you even truly be in love at 13? are we capable of such strong feeling? is that why we haven't been able to leave each other alone?

we know what happens every time we try, there's never a different outcome. i think we continue to chase that stupid fucking high we gave each other even though its been years. its dumb and we know it

i'm dumb and you know it

- kierian