and that is the story of how i fixed my entire life, made everyone love me, and lived to tell the tale. thanks for reading!
i literally just wrote so much good shit and then lost it. like it was fr gas lol.
Jeong Sang-Bin (정상빈) is a cold baller South Korean international. he's #11 in the black and blue, and he is the one who scores this. he is what it's all about, and if you care about this blog long-term, you will care about him as much as i do. i can hope! Sportsball!
How frustrating, but it's really a beautiful opportunity. I get to prove to myself right here, right now, that this is really about the art of writing. It doesn't really matter that i lost it, because this is just a transcription of my inner monologue whatever the hell that means. I like the idea of that, that i'm just here to write whatever my brain thinks. One thing that really frustrated me about the previous blog post I was writing, was that I was writing it on my phone and henceforth the same obligation to punctuation and elegant writing wasn't evident. I didn't have that same joy, that same feeling of being committed to art and myself that I feel on the computer. I hope to explore that later in this weblog. I don't remember the first time I heard the word weblog, or blogosphere, but it was likely in the brainPOP special on Blogging, or the internet, or something like that.
Most of my abstract knowledge comes from brainPOP.
Today is the 5th day in a row that I have interacted, at length, with people outside of my home. Not just interactions that I relied on - but genuine interactions that I really enjoyed, and I felt enriched both parties (hopefully I'm not being too presumptive!). That is a huge W, if you will, and might be approaching an all-time record in terms of adulthood. It is so tempting to fall into the belief that just interacting with the people you live with is alright - and to some extent, it is! However, if you want to get out there, and become someone worldly; you've gotta break out of that shell, no matter what. At least, that's what I keep telling myself to justify the fact that I guess I'm just a social butterfly now.
This all is a huge W for me; but what else? I'll take this rare opportunity to address the elephant in the room; you! I appreciate you dear reader, and I want to hear about you since you hear about me. What's a W or just something that happened to you today? Let this be one portion of the internet dedicated to chronicling the W's that the people that agree with me have achieved (possibly by reading this blog?)
today, i really decided to ramble. i didn't mean to make this big af, but i accidentally did, so please listen to it while reading the rest of this. i don't often say this (because i don't believe in it, as i don't do it, ever, even though i want to) -- but if you can't listen to this while reading this, don't! wait until you can listen to it. i listened to it the entire time i was writing, and if you read it as fast as i was writing it, maybe you can feel the same things in your brain that i did.
I'm really too tired to make any solid points. I'll just write about stuff I did today, and hopefully it will yield some value - or maybe the value is innate. Today, the landlord came over and took a look at some things; including a faulty spigot. When iI first heard, that there wa sa faulty spigot, I assumed,ed that it was no big deal; it seemed that that would surleybe something that we could resolve on our own time, and surely not a thing we would have to talk to our landlord about . Honestly, talking to the landlord and making the first request was really tough, and every subsequent request has been nerve-racking for all of us. This is of no fault on Joe. Joe, by all appearance s(except for the fact he rejected the rhubarb we offered him), is a great guy. He is very responsive, very type A, and does his job very well. He is kind, polite, and is happy to explain any issue that he is working through that we are curious about. He has made our responsibilities as tenants v very clear, and continues to let us know that he appreciates our tenant hood, and views it as a relationship. I really appreciate this about Joe.
Neverhteless, we are intimidated of him. Why is that? He told us a story today about another group of tenants he had just come from. He painted a picture of four fcollege age roommate women that live together arnd are generally intimidated by the nitty gritty of household maintenance; an odd thing to insinuate, as our household is mainly women and we appear to be quite handy and responsible (I would hope!). These college age roommates were all scared to send Joe a message and confess that something was broken as well. Assuming that this story is real - why is this such ac common phenomenon? Are people our age intimidated of Joe because he seems to have his life together while still being kind; a startling juxtaposition that is antitheticall to the message of modern society - eparticularly in terms of how we value belongings as social status? I have met so many people who have had a lot; and were still quite kind. I have met even more people who have. a lot, and weren't as kind. They never had to learn to be.
I understand where they are coming from. I have had, and I have been horrible. I understand, fundamentally, that people who do bad things are not that different from me, because I also do bad things. There are no bad people.
okay sorry last one. this one's a groove - try to silence the words while you read.
this is the last one for sure
Nevertheless of Joe's upstanding landlord behavior, we are terrified of him. He told us a similar story (probably sensing our vibe) about another house he was servicing in the area. Four college aged tenants who were all scared of being an inconvenience and all didn't bring up an issue until Joe was there already, worried. He is literally the most adamant dude ever when it comes to how not an inconvenience it is to ask for help, and how it is his side of the agreement to come and fix things and make sure we live somewhere worth living.
Why is it a shared worry? Are we intimidated by Joe because he seemingly has his life together and we certainly, do not? Does Joe feel like he has his life together, or is this just something he does on the side because it yields bread for his family?
It really is so clapped that Jean Valjean got arrested for just stealing bread for his family. I agreed with him in his right to do that, but also Javert's need to put him away for it. Once you're set on something, it can be hard to remember that you're a human too. Maybe Javert just needed Lexapro.
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Bugs
This was a great read! Love to hear about Ws!
Today I had a wonderful W! At my job a customer left behind their water bottle, so I ran outside and handed it to her. When she took it she told me I have very pretty eyes! WOW! I didn't know really what to say so i said thanks and then awkwardly said "I LIKE YOUR HAT"
A W none the less!
Thank you for contributing your W. I have had similar W's, recently. Today, I met my neighbor. We went out for trivia and drinks, and had a little impromptu bar hop. It's something I would literally never do day to day, but for some reason, I decided to change the entire way I approach my life.
I think we are the same. I was taught not to ever talk to strangers as a kid, and then as an adult by my parents. I don't remember my parents having friends; they were kind of antisocial. They lived far away from family and friends, and didn't really care about building a community around themselves. Naturally, I picked up the same trait, and I became very awkward around strangers. I grew up in Phoenix, where it's too hot year-round to really hang out with people or run into people outside of school (and church, in my context). To this day, it is a conscious struggle to really engage with strangers and try to make connections with people.
It will be a lonely existence if I do not conquer this fear. If you agree with my take, I hope you find the same solace. If you don't, I hope it was entertaining to read! :)
by mikol; ; Report
Em🌸
If you ever write a book about self - improvement, I would read it. And I totally fw the W’s 🙏🏼 ALSO this is so true the first paragraphs like if you wanna get out there just get out there and it took me YEARS to realize that and a couple more years trying to break the damn she’ll, It’s not like I’m Pretty social or anything but definitely WAYYY better than before
also I think I blogged about a topic similar!
Shell^ I hate auto correct
by Em🌸; ; Report
I think it is pretty cool to be able to see changes in yourself and materialize them by writing them out, consciously. I often think "Oh, I've truly changed this time!" but I was just really convincing myself in my head, and that's all. I had convinced myself that my mindset had changed (which it most certainly had), and then I proudly conveyed that to everyone else; clueless of the difference between changing one's mindset, and changing oneself. The 'Day 2' of it all is always the hardest.
Comments like this ensure that you are conscious of the changes. They have now been recorded in history. As long as the data exists, and there are people reading it, it will mean something to someone. I like it a lot.
by mikol; ; Report
mikol
links for those invested:
this is the sang-bin jeong goal missing at the beginning. long-term link is https://www.mnufc.com/video/goal-sang-bin-jeong-vs-stl-72#goal-sang-bin-jeong-vs-stl-72 which unfortunately has ads
first song, naña
second song