Dark Cacao’s Pregnant Arc (Not Clickbait)

It was a quiet morning in the Vanilla Kingdom. Birds were chirping, the sun was glowing softly, and Pure Vanilla Cookie was humming to himself as he watered the dewberry plants outside his cozy lil castle. He looked like a soft anime dad. Peaceful. Innocent. Sparkly.

Then Dark Cacao Cookie—giant warrior king, brooding legend, actual sword dad—stumbled into the garden looking like he hadn’t slept in five days. But he had slept. In fact, he’d been sleeping constantly lately. And craving really weird stuff. Like salted caramel ice in hot sauce. And grilled pineapple with whipped cream and... ketchup???

Pure Vanilla blinked. “Uh… are you okay? You look like you fought a dragon in your dreams.”

Dark Cacao groaned and flopped dramatically into a hammock that definitely wasn’t rated for his mass. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. My emotions are all over the place. I cried at a duck earlier.”

“...Like a real duck or a cookie duck?”

“Does it matter?! It quacked at me. It was beautiful.”

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Pure Vanilla squinted. “Wait. Wait wait wait. No way. Are you... pregnant?”

“WHAT!?”

“No but seriously. Have you been having weird cravings? Mood swings? Is your stomach weirdly soft today??”

“I’ve... also been getting mild fire magic spikes every time you kiss my forehead.”

“I KNEW IT.”

---

Three weeks later, after like six confusing doctor visits and a very awkward “so, biology is weird in Cookie Kingdom” explanation from Herb Cookie, it was confirmed:

Dark Cacao Cookie was Pregnant™.

There was a baby growing inside him. A literal tiny cookie, made of like 50% bitterness and 50% healing magic. Pure Vanilla immediately started crying and made a nursery out of vines and enchanted pillows. Dark Cacao stood in the doorway like, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” but then the baby kicked and he fell in love on the spot.

They named the baby (before it was even born) Frostbite Cookie, because he kept giving Dark Cacao cold flashes and he liked that it sounded tough.

---

The birth was dramatic, of course. There were lightning storms and magical flares across the sky. Pure Vanilla panicked, even though he wasn’t the one giving birth. “Breathe in!! Okay wait—I’M breathing in, sorry—OKAY DO IT AGAIN!! YOU GOT THIS KING!!”

Dark Cacao almost broke a table.

But then Frostbite Cookie was born: a tiny baby cookie with snowy white streaks in his chocolate hair, and a little scar-like line under one eye (no one knew where it came from, but it made him look cool). He opened his eyes and immediately glared at the sky like he was judging the gods for making him small.

“He has your eyes,” Pure Vanilla whispered.

Dark Cacao was too busy crying to speak.

They held him together and wrapped him in a lavender blanket. Pure Vanilla kept calling him his “little cookie bean,” and Dark Cacao let it happen. He even smiled.

---

Life with Frostbite was chaos. He refused to nap unless someone was singing war chants, and his first word was “NO.” But he was weirdly smart for a baby and kept biting enemies whenever they got too close. Pure Vanilla was proud. Dark Cacao was terrified and proud.

But just when they finally felt like they were figuring parenting out…

“Oh no,” Dark Cacao muttered one night, holding his stomach. “Not again…”

Pure Vanilla spun around, holding a teacup. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘NOT AGAIN’?!”

“I think I’m pregnant. Again.”

“…WITH TWO?!”

“...I don’t want to talk about it.”

---

The second pregnancy was even weirder. The babies kicked in sync, caused weird weather patterns, and made Frostbite start levitating in his sleep (???). The twins were clearly gonna be a handful.

When they were born, it was so much faster and less dramatic. Like the babies were like “yeah we’ve done this before.” They popped out and immediately started squabbling over who got cuddled first.

They were named Honeycrush Cookie and Moonmelt Cookie.

Honeycrush was chaotic, loud, wore tiny sunglasses, and bit literally anything shaped like a spoon. Moonmelt was silent, drooly, and floated like two inches off the floor at all times.

Frostbite just stood at the edge of the nursery, arms crossed like a tiny grumpy bodyguard. “I don’t like them. But I will protect them.”

“Good job, big brother,” Pure Vanilla said, ruffling his hair.

“I’m not soft. Don’t touch me.”

“Okay tough guy.”

---

Now the little family lives in the upper towers of the Vanilla Kingdom, where their bedtime stories are epic tales of war and love, and their lullabies are a mix of classical harp and battle drums. Pure Vanilla keeps trying to teach the kids to be peaceful, and Dark Cacao keeps accidentally raising warriors.

But in between the chaos and cookie bites and floating babies, they cuddle on the couch and fall asleep in piles, tangled up in warm robes and toddler limbs.

“...You wanna have another one?” Pure Vanilla asked one 

night.

Dark Cacao just rolled over and threw a pillow at his face.

“Take that as a maybe.”

<< TO MAYBE BE CONTINUED