Online relationships dont last long..

So like.. you guys may already know that im super unwell, i got issues with me and my mental health, literally if your like me do NOTTTTT online date, i swear.. i had this one guy that i met on roblox, he was sweet, ended up being a girl but didnt really care and i went with his preferred pronouns at the time , i got suuupperr attached and fell inlove with him, turns out he was the same age as me! we shared the same interests, we ended up dating but after that it escalated in a reaaally bad way, he got really distant, got pissed off easily, and i'd end up constantly apologizing begging him not to go, it got really toxic so we both thought it was best for me to let go and so i did, after that i thought i was free, till he got a new friend, i got suuuuper jealous, to the point i send my private messages with him in other groupchats so that i'd be comforted! i know i know its super fucked up and yes you can blame me OMG! but i really couldnt stop myself, i needed the comfort, and i was scared of telling my best friend about it, overtime the jealousy really grew but he started getting too distant, treating me as if i was a stranger and returning back to the good ol happy energy to his other friends, i got super pissed, i confronted him about it but he either ignored my messages or placed his status as something like "u pmo" or like "ur annoying anyway", the time i saw his status like that i got super angry and @ed him in a discord server to get his attention, for him to actually reply, i ranted about what was i to him anymore, he stated everything about me that pissed him off and we ended up getting into a huge argument in the entire server, i ended up dropping him

i was so distressed i posted like so many vent slideshows and sent our private messages to my best friend thinking i'd get comfort honestly all i got was a slap in the face cz of how shitty i was , my bsf told me that i needed to get better and i agreed honestly hearing sel's side of the story he said i was manipulative and controlling, possessive and honestly he wasnt wrong, my messages were like, super SUPER desperate, we met again in a roblxo server and he was like "hey i figured out who u were last night" and told me that he didnt blame me, LOL! we're good friends now but we dont talk much, thats all for todays blog, MWAAHHH 🙏BLESS🙏