why do i like eroguro?

Sometimes I wonder if my fascination with obscure, often dark topics stems from the absence of death in my childhood. My life has been... quiet. Sure, I was shuttled between hospitals from a young age, but it always felt padded, distant—like everything painful was kept at arm’s length.

Even during those hospital stays, I never saw anyone dying. I never even saw a body. When my cats died, my mother buried them before I could see. When my great-grandfather passed, I didn’t see him either. I didn’t attend his funeral—or those of my other great-grandparents.

The closest I came to witnessing death was with my boyfriend. But even then, I didn’t see the final moments. And honestly, by that point, I was already immersed in darker themes, so I’m not sure it would have changed anything.

I’m not going to say something cringey like, "Heh… I love gore… it makes me feel alive…". That’s not what this is. But I do think my interests might be filling a space—compensating for something I didn’t experience or learn to process.

So if anyone reading this plans to be a parent someday: please don’t shelter your child completely from the concept of death. Help them understand that it’s a natural part of life—before they’re left to figure that out on their own.