AITA for telling my ex gf i don't want to become what she become to me?

(english is not my 1st language) ok, so, i have this irl ex gf who kinda like... cheated... on me, it wasn't "actual" cheating, cuz all this shi happened with a girl she met online. we were dating and then she started talking with her (let's call her marie), i noticed how she was ignoring me all day but i thought she was jut busy, well, she WAS busy talking with marie, she admitted being too distracted with her and promised she will try to pay more attention to me, SHE LIED. 

she was always online on discord, and even told me once that if i wanted her to answer my messaged i had to use discord (which i didn't even knew how to use at the time), but still prefered to talk to marie instead of me. i reached my limit when my ex gf bought marie a FCKING RING, so i confronted her. she said it was a joke... A JOKE?? WHO TF BOUGHTS A RING TO A FRIEND AS A JOKE???? or is it normal and i didn't knew?? it was my first relationship ever, so mybe it's something friends do and i was just overreacting? anyway, i let that pass.

but then, weeks later she bought her flowers (she never bought flowers for me.......) and i discover that information thru her twitter, cuz she was complainig about how bad flower delivery on marie's country. i asked her about that, and she said "oh, so you know... i wasn't planning to telling you" EXCUSE ME? so i interrogated her about the meaning of her actions and she said (very upset, by the way) "I DID IT BECAUSE I LIKE HER" ... honestly, my whole world collapsed around me, because i already knew that, i wasn't stupid at all, i just was on denial. 

long story short: we had a big argue where she said it wasn't her fault to fall for her and i was practially begging her to not give up on us. i didn't borke up with her and neither did she. i loved her so much that i believed it was my fault and i had make an effort to save our relationship, maybe i wasn't enough (i was, in fact, too much for her). she promised to not talk to her ever again, but those were empty words, cuz i knew she kept talking to her. 

every time we had an argument, marie was the cause. i wanted my ex gf to leave me, bacause i couldn't do that, she made me dependant, i lost a lot of friends, distanced myself from my family, stopped eating, caring of myself, i was like a zombie, always depressed, because her loving me back again became everything i cared about. 

she was the one who broke up with me after a few months. to be honest, i didn't feel anything wehen that happened, beacuse i was already prepared for that moment, as i said, i didn't had the strength to be the one breaking up with her. she said us breaking up had nothing to do with marie, and i believed her, but she forgot to block me on one of my twitter accounts and the same day she broke up with me, 6 hours after, to be more specific, i saw her talking about some girl liking her back. i dm-ed her and told her and marie to go to hell, because i knew she was talking about marie (and she was).

i continued my life, recovering from that relationship, not knowing a single thing about her or marie. i met someone new 6 months after, and we started dating (worst decision in my life, TRUST ME, i'm being threatened by them, but that's other story), and then on a random tuesday, she sent me a message saying she missed me. i had a panic attack, because i was still recovering from the trauma that relationship left in me (because i'm just telling the resumed story, it was horrible being with her, to be honest. my partner from that time knew all the lore of me and her, and understood why was i reacting like that. 

my ex gf told me she wanted to talk to me as friends, bacuse her psichology told her that would help, and, you might hate me for this, but i said ok... i have a sensitive and emphatic heart, and some things she said about her current life made me feel bad for her, so we kinda started talking again. as i said i was on a relaitonship at the time, my partner was fine with us talking, because they knew i was feeling pity for her and nothing more and my ex gf knew i had a partner. 

me and my partnet broke up a few weeks after. my ex gf had nothing to do with that, my ex partner kinda tried to force me to had sex and stuff with them even thought i told them i wasn't ready for that. and when i told her that me and my partnet broke up, she changed. she started being flirty with me, i didn't gave her the same energy back, but after weeks of talking, things started to turn weird with us. 

i'm not proud to say this, but i started to flirt back, and then she said something about getting together again, and since she finally was giving me tha attention i wanted from her, i fell for it. i said yes about getting back toghether on the future, but my friends and family HATED her, so that kinda made me things twice, because everyone said that if she hurt me once, she would do it again. 

and you might be wondering what happened to marie? well. marie did the same exact thing my ex did to me. LMAO (deserved). the difference is marie made her spend like... 1600 USD on her on the time thwy were "together" (it was a situationship).

more weeks passed, and i realized i wasn't into my ex gf at all. i was always remembering what she did to me (she said some shitty apologies), and also, she showed me a chat with a friend of hers and a message said she was manipulating me at the time and was planing to manipulate me as many times as necessary until i dated her again. that made me feel weird, in a bad way. i mean, she admitted she was manipulating me... so i dumped her.

and then talked to her again cuz a game we used to play together added a skin of a charecter i love and i asked her if she saw the skin... things got weird again after weeks and i dumped her one more time when i noticed, because we agreed to be just friends and she was trying manipulate me again. she told me the truth about marie, she said it was easier to be with marie because, i quote, i was too serious about us...................................

i blocked her form everywhere, and i started to get close wit a girl i already knew becuse she was my classmate when i was 11, we lost contact when we graduated at 14, and then started to talk again at 20, i'm 23 at the moment, and honestly i had this big ass crush on her when we started to talk again after all those years, but things didn't work out because we were too busy with college, but we stayed as good friends, then i met my ex gf, all that shit happened and, then i met my ex partner and more shit happened, BUT NOW-

on, now... 

i can say i'm madly in love with this girl (let's call her lili). lili is everything i want, she's my type from head to toe, the kind of person who's passionate, kind, lovely, romantic, ok, i have to stop here, well, basically i can see myself sharing the rest of my life with her and a lot of cats. 

but i saw my ex gf at college, and i was kinda rude cuz i sawher and literally rushed to my clasroom, so i kinda apologized for doing that thru message, MY BAD, I SOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT, I KNOW, I KNOW, but this time we didn't talked about getting together because i was already in love with lili, and i told my ex, but she was trying to manipulate me again, this time she used economic manipulation????? idk how tf is that called, anyway, she bought me food and gifts i neves asked for, and made me feel guilty for that, so i kept talking to her, cuz i didn't wanted her to think i was like marie and only wanted her money. not the smartest thing to do, tho.

lili and i were getting closer and closer, and my ex started talking about us getting together in the future and that made me feel so unconfortable, becasue she knew i was into someone else now, but she ignored that, and kept going. i have to mention, that i can be easily manipulated, and she knows how to do that, so i kinda like, didn't wanted to make feel down, so i agreed to do activities with her, like watching movies thru discord and stuff like that, but guilty was always present, because my heart was with lili now, and nothing can change that. so i was lookinf for a way to tell her that without hurting her feelings, but she saw i retweeted some tarot stuff on twitter and then asked me about that, and i had to tell her the truth. but by the time, i was feeling too comfortabl with her, bacause people sees me as a weirdo, and also i'm a way toooooooo introverted, so she gave me a safe place to be weird, and i liked that, plus she already knew the things i like. let's go to the point: i wanted to stay as friends with her and kept talking with lili, i didn't realized i was being selfish, how i was pretending to keep both my ex and the girl i liked in my life at the same time? my ex hated the idea, obviously, because she felt that she had to compete for my affection (because she thought we were getting together again even thought i never said yes to that). itold her i felt like i was doing them the same shit she did to me when we were dating, and she said "that's exactly what you're doing" and shit, i felt so bad. i had to fix that shit asap. 

i knew what i was going to do, ofc, i was going to end it all with my ex and keep going with lili, but i didn't knew how to tell my ex gf... and when i did, i told her "i don't want to do the same thing you did to me, i don't want to become what you were to me, i don't want to become what destroyed me" (and a lot of stuff about being sorry for accidentally putting her on that situation)  and she got very mad and said "OK, STAY AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T YOU DARE TO GET CLOSE TO ME EVER AGAIN" i wasn't planning to, but still left me a little bit concerned??? so, am i the asshole??? be honest, i do know i was wrong for doing what i did, but still...