I'm sorry (a vent)

I hate everyone. Everyone thinks I'm weird and annoying but I genuinely have so much love to show. People literally never want to talk to me because I'm so 'dry' or whatever the hell they fucking call it. Like I'm sorry I have no energy to greet you. I understand I'm gross but I never wanted to start smoking, its not really my fault I had nothing to comfort me and the wrong company and peers. I genuinely calms me down. and even though I'm too old for anime, I watch it and I'm sorry I haven't really matured yet. i know since I'm an adult by now, I shouldn't be whining about friends, but its just like I'm sick of crying in my cramped bed all fucking day. I just need someone to talk too.