what now ??

I don't know what to do next. i love the people around me but I don't think I can stay much longer. I will wait till after my three weeks away to make my final decision, but till the,n I'm stuck in limbo. When you're full of love, it should not bring you to tears. i feel everything all the time always its becoming so much. I just need to make it 5 more days, god, I don't know how I'm going to live with my family this summer. I need the pen.