How to glow up when you're starting from scratch

     Recently, I've come out of a slump. A funk of sorts, an episode, a stagnation. Whatever you want to call it, I held on till May, and it culminated in me finally changing my sheets after an undisclosed but absurd amount of time, and an overwhelming urge to improve my life. The saying is "lightning never strikes the same spot twice" (Untrue btw, ask Roy Sullivan), but maybe the more correct phrase here would be "It's unlikely to have two huge drops in mood and motivation one after the other in quick succession." I'm using this recovery period to "glow up", a phrase I never expected to use about myself.

     The issue is that we are starting from zero here, or very close to zero at least. I've been watching a lot of glow up videos and lifestyle vlogs to try and figure out what I can do to take care of myself. The girls in those videos are starting from a very different place than I am. Originally, this post's title was going to end with "[...] as a tomboy," but I've never used that phrase for myself because it still connotes a basis of femininity, with masculine aspects or interests. Personally, my self-perception is that I'm just a person given a female avatar by default. This means that whereas the creators I'm looking to for inspiration are adding things on top of their routines to glow up, I'm building a routine first from the ground up. That's why the self-care hauls are helpful, because the content creators will talk about the basic products of their routines that they're restocking, and why they use and like them. Additionally, There are aspects of their routines that don't apply to me obviously, because we're all different people.

     Of course, I always try to come at these videos critically. I'd like to think that I can recognize what's necessary and what's fluff or overconsumption. I also won't be making any drastic changes to myself and my gender presentation for the sake of looking "prettier" - i.e., not shaving my legs or growing my hair out, because those are purely aesthetic choices. I want to do this for the sake of both taking better care of myself and feeling better about myself. I know taking care of your body isn't gendered, but I guess my point is more "I care about my gender about as much as I care about my skin health." (until now!) This is only relevant because the videos I've taken inspiration from tend to be quite centered on femininity.

The Plan so far:

     The first thing I started with, because I hate buying a product and immediately disliking it while having the rest of the container to use up, is a sample binge. I pulled all the free Kiehl's packets, all the Sephora birthday gifts, and all the miscellaneous skincare tubes of mystery origin from my shelf to finally be used. I did check for expiration dates, most were alright as long as they hadn't been opened previously (they hadn't). Then, from what I want to continue using or what's still missing from my ideal routine, I'm making a shopping list.

     Please give me suggestions and tips because I have a less-than-ideal understanding of self-care in most of its aspects. 

Shower: 

     I've started conditioning again. I knowww how dumb it is to not condition when I dye and bleach my hair. I think for the longest time, I hated how I couldn't tell if it was going to leave my hair oily. But I'm using my better judgement and sucking it up now. I'm getting through my Sephora birthday gift, which is the Briogeo Don't Despair, Repair! deep conditioning mask. It functions the same as a conditioner as per its instructions. It came with the Scalp Revival micro-exfoliating shampoo, which has some scrub qualities, so I'm using that less often because I don't want to over-exfoliate. (btw I made such a point of massaging it in because the instructions said to, that quite a few strands of hair worked themselves loose while I was showering and I was scared I was deadass balding, or that there was Nair in it for some reason)

     I've also decided I'm not going to buy into the Dove body scrub hype because I have an exfoliating loofah, and I don't shave, so I don't need any of the other ingredients in it. 

     Not shower-related, but I might as well put the two things I'm doing for my hair in the same category. I have a sample of the Amika intense moisture hair mask that I opened a while ago. Is it within the shelf life indicated on the packaging? Probably not. But can it do more harm than good at this point? Also probably not.

Skincare:

     This is the big one. My previous skincare routine was: I'd only wash my face in the shower, then I'd put on my prescription retinol gel, then moisturize because the gel is alcohol based and dries me out. If I had a really bad pimple, I'd put on a patch before bed, and if it's sunny out, I'd put on sunscreen before leaving. (Isntree natural sun cream) Obviously, some changes needed to be made.

     I don't wash my face more often because I hate the water dripping everywhere, or I don't have the energy. The plan is to invest in a pair of those arm bands that soak up all the water so it doesn't drip down your arms. Very doable, I keep seeing them at Winners. In the mornings, that's where I struggle with energy, so I'll settle for toner then instead, to de-grease my face. I've been using up my Kiehl's Ultra Facial Toner samples there. I have a bunch of cleanser samples, and they all do the job of cleaning my face, so that's not super relevant. The Ultra Facial Cream is good too, and because my facial moisturizer has just been the CeraVe lotion for moisturizing literally anywhere on your body, it's a reasonable upgrade. Once I finish the Kiehl's packets, I have a small pot of the Drunk Elephant Protini polypeptide cream. High hopes for that one.

     On the subject of body lotion, I've been applying it to my limbs after I shower, because my logic is that when you wash your hands, they get dried out, so that's probably happening on a less frequent, smaller scale on the rest of me. Mine is a random one from Winners that I'm sure they've cycled out ages ago. I know Eos has a good body lotion, but again, that's from women who also benefit from it because they shave, so I think CeraVe is passable for my needs.

     I've also decided I'll try to do a mask per week if I have one. Those are common samples in all their forms, so I have no shortage of them. I've decided that while it might not be the most practical decision, I'm getting a gua sha tool just to try it out. I know you're supposed to put something under it so you're not just dragging your skin and spreading grease around, but I'm not totally sure what. Maybe more moisturizer is acceptable.

     Lip masks before bed seem to be a common concept, and I have one from Bath and Body Works, which is going to have to do because I have to finish the pot eventually.

Misc/Lifestyle:

     Teeth whitening is something I've been thinking about for a while now. While I know it's normal for teeth to be off-white, I'd like mine to be... less so. One creator I watched suggested adding whitening strips to a glow up, but honestly, I'm going to invest in whitening toothpaste, because then it's already built into my preexisting routine, and the effects won't be a one-off result.

     I have been cleaning everything out. My closet, my makeup bag, my sample stash. Everything. (not everything) Must. Go. Having some of those things gone doesn't necessarily make me feel improved, but the process makes me feel productive, and it had to be done.

     I'm pretty good about drinking water usually, I'm just cracking down on it again, and doing some green tea occasionally now for antioxidants or whatever. I'm really hoping that this shift in my life will motivate me to work out, and I'm looking into kickboxing lessons (which I was interested in pre-pandemic), as well as short pilates workouts, because they seem really accessible. I really hate exercise, so I'm going to figure out how to make it as tolerable as possible for me.

     Positive affirmations are an idea I really like, but I never get around to physically putting them anywhere in my life that I'll see them regularly.

Little things:

     I like having my nails painted, so I painted them. I bought clear mascara because I forgot it was an option, and black mascara always looks overdone on me; plus, I always forget and rub my eyes, and end up with a raccoon vibe. I have a Shopper's gift card locked and loaded for my wishlist. I'm investing in scalp sunscreen.

     Ultimately, I know this routine is somewhat at the mercy of my mental health. I know that next time I fall into a funk, because I inevitably do every few months, this routine could be reduced back to prescriptions and showering exclusively. I've accepted that possibility, but another major hope for this experiment is that having a regular self-care routine will reduce the severity of those slumps and give me structure during them, when structure in my life can feel lacking. Some future improvements to this routine could include a serum or actually enforcing better sleep habits. (unlikely) As it stands though this is already an exercise of my self discipline and a major adjustment to my life, so... Baby steps.

     P.S. My Walmart's cosmetic section is all locked up and cordoned off, so you have to check out there for your cosmetics before you can roam the rest of the store. Terribly inconvenient, but I know high school girls love a five-finger discount, so not totally unforeseen.