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I see nothing wrong with harm coming to people because I don't feel empathy for other human beings. But I think killing animals is wrong. And killing bugs, too. Anything that isn't human does still deserve to be alive. It's a personal feeling for me, mostly, that's why I care about it... but it's logical too.

Every individual human being on the planet has an unjustifiable carbon footprint (you need cars to get to and from work, or school, or wherever else you need to be, and then to participate in factory farming when you consume meat or buy food, and you run the air conditioning in your homes and use water for your showers and baths...), but then people never give anything back. All animals exist in perfect harmony within the food chain. There are predators for all prey, which keeps the world running. But people don't fit into the food chain. They eat everything. They're, by definition, a parasitic species. We ourselves kill parasitic species that won't stop multiplying and eating everything in their path. Why don't the same rules apply to us? I think anything bad that happens to a human is deserved. Every other species on the planet has to suffer for you, which just doesn't seem fair when you don't give anything back.

I'm getting distracted!! But what I mean is that, people deserve to die. So when human beings are killed, it could be considered moral. Not when animals are killed because they're truly innocent. But humans systemically oppress every other species on the planet. so they all deserve it. I could never  kill anyone because physical violence always made me uncomfortable. But I think people do deserve to be put to sleep. I think that if we wanted real balance, our population shouldn't be more than 100 million people at the maximum.

Ever since I was little, I've just felt evil and bad innately. I like myself but I can admit that no matter what I do, the 'badness' follows me... everything I do seems to end up hurting the people around me. and my intentions usually aren't good either. I don't physically harm people, but I've always said and done these things that really change people forever. and I have this bad habit of quickly abandoning everyone I meet. I don't see individual people as important, I always replace them... I'm not sure where it comes from. I feel like a truly wicked person. But I don't see a problem with that because, I love myself, and that's what matters. I think I just innately lack empathy for other people. I don't feel kinship with anyone, so it's hard to see anyone as important.

I speak about death very casually, and I don't want to be misconstrued-- I'm not someone who has no experience with it. I'm very intimately acquainted with death and I have been since my childhood. I'm not lax about it because I don't really understand the gravity of it. I do. I've just always been apathetic.

I guess the worst thing I ever did was when I was twelve, I found out someone who I had been treating very poorly for nine months straight who I then abandoned apparently offed themselves over it! I thought about it for a little while but then I just was struck by how little I cared. I've been to nine or ten psychiatrists, they don't know what's wrong with me. I was put on risperidone for the suspected schizophrenia, not that that helped. I'm not sure why I'm so evil, I know that my actions are choices I make, but my motives have been inborn.

what have I been talking about ...... I'm tired and bored!


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