He looked at her

He looked at her, watched her like the sun.

In the sense that, he never really saw her. He would look at her when she was dying, and only thought her beautiful when she was falling. He enjoyed watching as she became lesser, below him. He never watched as she was in her full beauty, when she was above everyone else and more powerful than he. He only saw her then when he squinted, when he tried, but he didn't often do so. It pained him to watch, it hurt to see her above him, hurt to crane his neck and burn his eyes at her glory. Her grand stature, too much for him to handle.