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I'm horrible with food! truly terrible! I'm good at lots of things, creative sit down activities... but when it comes to practical skills like exercise or cleaning or cooking, I am utterly useless. I'm as confident as anyone can be and egocentric beyond compare, which is why everytime I try a recipe it is such a humbling experience. I tried to make corn dogs last year and they BLEW UP in the pot. I tried to make ramen, with the instructions ON THE PACKET, and I somehow managed to leave the stove on all night almost setting my entire home on fire, I didn't understand how to drain the noodles and I cracked an egg in them while they were cooking which then spread everywhere, and gave myself food poisoning trying to finish eating the thing!

I think this is something I've done since I was a little kid. I tried to do a cookout sale because I wanted money to buy more toys, so when I was eight I tried to make recipes by grabbing random things from the fridge and inventing new foods. disaster ensues. the pot boiled over and I had a burn on my hand for months! none of it was edible! the maid back then tried to assist me but it didn't do much. I sat outside with the stuff for hours, and then my parents (back when we all lived together) found me and were totally pissed because I used all their ingredients.

and you'd think that my incompetence is inherited. but no!! my parents own and founded a food chain!!!!! there is no reason for me to be so bad at this!!!!!!!