browsing the web...

first of all hi - my name is kaneda and i'm 16 :pp i feel so quiet all day and i would never dream of annoying my loving friends and family with chatter. i feel really boring most days, i don't really know why. i think its a symptom of being on my phone all the time. the time i feel best ever is when i'm on the computer or something like that. theres not much to be done about that though, other than write to strangers...

anyway, i've been listening to a LOT of fall out boy recently. really playing the part of a teenager who isnt addicted to their phone. whatever, though. its really good. i've listened to 3 of their albums so far, and they definitely deserve the hype. i was thinking the other day at work about the number of things in my life it's kind of sparked. i think ive seen about one million amvs set to centuries, five nights at freddy's sparked so much beauty. i really like their older stuff now, thanks to my emo girlfriend. i feel like kind of a late bloomer when it comes to being like this, i'm already the youngest of my friends and on top of it i feel like a major poser whenever i do stuff like this. i swear its all earnest, though. i want to talk to people, and use this kind of stuff more instead of feeling isolated all the time.

i'm not a loner, my friendgroup is tight. but it's nice to just kind of unabashedly kind of speak and try to figure myself out. that being said i wouldn't mind talking to new people.

this is a larger kind of piece about what i think about phones and individualism. today i watched the blandest colgate i've ever seen on my instagram reels. usually, the stray advertisement would be just a pesky kind of distractor, but today it was just insulting how bad the quality of it was. apps are just individual websites, that kind of keep you bound within their confinements. i think that makes it so hard to stop and do other things, nothing has to flow. the short form scroll type thing makes it feel like you're going somewhere when you're just going nowhere. 

the difference is that whenever i go on the website on my computer, i end up going to so many other places, and get so much more inspiration. its a place where you can meander about different places. i wont say we're so far gone as to not be able to retrace our steps a little bit, but it would be so difficult. put a phone in everyone's back pocket and base everything around it, it feels very impermanent when the same device gets cooked when you toss it in a pot of water. 

the point about the colgate ad is that we're kind of dumber than ever, in a way. very much similar to a digital dark age. i just hope i can be like a fuckin' martin luther. just kidding, i know i'm just as stuck as everyone else.

see you