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just rambling here, short and quite pointless, but I was just thinking about how much of a weird love/hate relationship I've got with existence as a concept
like the starting point is my vehement dislike for human bodies as a concept; I find bodily functions and the existence of bodies as physical objects with a mass and a presence in space repulsive, to the point it frequently bothers me in day to day life. but then I think about how fascinating the body is, if you think about it as a machination of flesh and bones. look down at your hands and realise they're meat and nerves and skin and tendons, hold hands with somebody and realise how crude of an interweaving of bodies it is, kiss somebody and think about how strange the act itself is — putting your mouth to another person's as if you wanted to consume them, or even more strangely, the intrusion of a tongue into a mouth it doesn't belong to
but then that brings me to how gorgeous the concept of love is when you look at humans as machines of flesh: physical closeness, bringing your hearts as close as they can physically be. carnality itself can be so beautiful, the animal need for closeness in the most invasive possible way, the need to live within another person
that animalistic-ness brings me to the second last matter, which is the artificiality of the society we live in. I don't just mean that in the "oh, capitalism begone!" way (which, yes, that too, topic for another time) — I mean that it is literally absurd, the way we, animals who will return to dust like any other species, live in such a contorted way. rules upon rules upon rules to exist in a society that just takes, having to pay for your existence, having monopolised the earth the way we have, as the parasitic species we are
but then see that's the last thing. culture, society, the development of groups, of writing, literature, art, beliefs and philosophies born of the natural fear of death — all of this wouldn't exist the way it does without the absurd society we live in, and good lord is it marvellous.
anyway idk it's late and I think too often about how weird humans are
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elayneciara
weirdly enough, that's how I feel about the female body in a way. how is it that a beautiful body like that of a woman is able to create life within itself? and how with our cycles we're able to be synced up with the tides? literally amazing stuff. inside of our wombs we create bones and a brain and people take it for granted. sure, you can say that about any mammal and argue that it's a survival instinct but spiritually, you can choose to bear your soul to another and create something new together. idk it's quite fascinating but also horrifying to also have to bleed every month and hormonal lust go crazy.
I meant hormonally* but hormonal lust works too lol
by elayneciara; ; Report