About doomed ships and grief

long life to the doomed pairs, the ones that seem like they are made for each other and then suddenly one of them ends up dying, changing forever the path of the other person. the one that is left alive keeps going, cause they know the other person would not want them to follow them so soon, but they keep being haunted by them. always seeing them around them. they see at the sunset and  remember that one time they held their hands while looking at the sun. they see someone eating that one flavour of ice cream and suddenly remember how much their loved one kept rambling about the reasons why that flavour is the best in the universe. they look at the new comic/book/game and they remember how excited they were for playing them. it's a curse, really. cause even when the person tries to force themselves into not thinking about them, the harder it becomes. How are they supposed to not think about them when they were their world?

They looked at the flowers and remembered their lips, looked at the trees and remembered their eyes, touched their pillow and remembered their chest. They smash the photographs remembering all the times the two of them fought for meaningless reasons. They cry their heart out as they hug that first gift, the little plushie that acted as their adopted son. They run through the streets trying to run away from all the memories that are stored around the whole city. That bench, we used to sit them. That school, you held me  in your arms as I cried. Their bed,  where you wrapped your arms around me as I told you I had been thinking about killing myself. 

and the ones around them tell them that they should try to let it go, that they are hurting themselves by  remembering. but sometimes grief is about hurting. sometimes it's about digging your own nails into your heart, sometimes it's about opening that bottle filled with the petals of the first flowers they gifted to you. sometimes it's about reading the conversations and remembering how your first conversation felt. sometimes it's about sending messages to a phone that will never respond, sometimes it's about listening to their recorded voice telling you I love you.

sometimes it's about finding ways to remember them even if it hurts you.