Addiction of emotions

Euphoria had him.

Wrapped around her ghost fingers,

like smoke he never stopped breathing.

She wasn’t just a memory-

she was a pulse

still pounding

somewhere deep in his marrow.

And Hope?

She watched.

Watched him whisper about the past

like it was paradise,

not poison.

Like Euphoria hadn’t wrecked him-

but blessed him.

A sacred kind of suffering

he’d relive if he could.

Hope never made him feel

like that.

She came in measured doses.

Tidy.

Safe.

Unremarkable.

No high.

Just stability.

Just survival.

And she knew-

he never craved survival

the way he craved escape.

He only reached for her

when the bottle cracked his will.

When guilt needed a name

to cling to.

A whole year.

Three hundred and sixty-five days

of almost.

And still,

he never looked at her

like he looked at the past.

He spoke Euphoria’s name

like a hymn,

like something holy,

while Hope stood silent-

necessary,

but never loved.

Because Euphoria was chaos

dressed in velvet.

She was fire,

and Hope?

Hope was the ash after.

And it burned-

not because he hated her.

But because

he barely felt her at all.

She was the flatline

after the storm.

The calm

he didn’t want.

She saw it-

in the way his eyes glazed

When he swallowed her,

In the way nostalgia wrapped

Its arms are around Euphoria

But left Hope out in the cold.

And she wondered,

Every night,

If being the cure

mattered at all

When the sickness

still sang him lullabies.

Prompt that i've written:

Do we have something that we abuse? Is it something material like alcohol, nicotine, or drugs? Or is it feelings? Or a person? Are they memories?

Why is it hard for Hope to accept that I may not be at the same level of Euphoria, that she may be a shadow of that feeling? That she may not ever make his heart grow to have palpitations at the thought of using her like Euphoria? I now know why Hope makes a person cry at the love songs that portray love engulfed with Euphoria’s traces. It's because Hope wants that. Hope wants to be loved like that, like Euphoria is loved by him. And is so hard to get from him just a glimpse of those feelings. It's been a year, and he still trusts the thought of loving Hope only when he drinks. He has the brightest smile on his face only when he talks about Euphoria, in a way that it is something that is still part of him. Hope never saw nostalgia for that feeling, it feels like he still uses it when he feels down. Hope wishes he would find refuge in her like that. She fears that she won't get the same second chances that Euphoria’s got. And it shows how much he wants to feel the same way with Hope. But she is not the same substance, she is not the same euphoric feeling. Instead, Hope gives off the feelings of desperation, the hope for the better, and the longing for security. It is harder for her to find her place in him when Euphoria still lingers in his body system. She does not know if she is the proper substance for you. Or if she will ever be.  Only a fool would claim he wants hope and still linger for Euphoria’s touch. And you know how Hope is. She just stays without asking questions. Without a doubt, and wanting the best for everyone, even