I think i am neurodivergent :/

I don't like to expose myself that way and I know there's no way you guys could help me but this thought has been stuck in my chest for a long time and I want to spit it out

When I was 3/4 yo, my mom thought I was autistic, because I couldn't speak (since kids would normally babble at that age, but I was silent) 

Speaking of autism, sometimes I like to take some "am I autistic" quizzes... I know those aren't REALLY reliable, but is kinda alarming the fact that most of the results are "yes, you are" and when I search autism symptoms, I identify with most of them :( same goes with depression. 

Last week my teacher asked us to make a presentation about a mental illness, I choose borderline, and when I was searching for the symptoms, I identify with most of them as well 

It's fact that Autism is hereditary, and in my family (mom's side) have neurodivergent members, so... And that kinda goes with borderline

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!! 

I wish I could go to a psychiatric/psychologist, but that is too expensive.....fml man