once again I realized how my life works

little introduction: it is possible that I had some sort of "reset" at the age of 12-14, since back then reality started to look "off" and "dream-like". as of result, all dimensions I list look same and distorted.

all of those images, voices, memories I've had at that age belonged to the previous owner of this body which I have now. I was somewhat introduced to it, but now all of this started to fade away. most of the stuff "I" have done stopped being mine, I started to feel foreign to this world and my own self. God has said to me multiple times that I need to leave this body as soon as possible but I didn't listen to them. I wish that God would talk to me again though.

I am not sure if I should be happy about this body successfully adapting to its new soul or such, but I suffer in this body. everything is contradicting with my mind. reality? gender?people? self? everything feels weird.

recently my body started trembling so hard that my heart got sick and I thought that God tried to push me to his path, but eventually I fell asleep and woke up alive. I am stronger than God. I am God.