NGE/EOE shinji ikari

Shinji is a deeply deeply troubled kid esp in the original series and EOE movie. Shinji is litterally losing everything in his life right in front of his eyes. He's lost several mentors and colleges. Shinji has no guidance, shinji needs that guidance or well he thinks he needs that guidance to operate. Shinji has completely lost all forms of connection to others and he is lost so his instinct is to try and revive that balance and trust and guidance from  the most outwardly confident person, asuka. Asuka who is a complete foil to shinji. Shinji is deeply introverted and depressed. Asuka (outwardly) is extroverted and lively. She presents this outward persona of this energetic confident person. Shinji cannot wake asuka though. So what other option does he have to gain a sense of control(while robbing others of theirs, a central theme of eva) he does the hospital scene. I mean it's an inexcusable action and it robs asuka of her agency within this scene. Shinji acknlonges this with his "i'm the worst" or wtv comment he makes after where he reinforces that this was not a good action for the audience. The hospital scene is integral to shinji character as it shows us as the he, even in the face of eminent danger, has to be able to choose himself and become better. Evangelion is a story about how we must be able to become a better version of ourself for ourself not for others. Shinji in the end(of the tv show)  does change and he is able to learn to accept himself and all of his faults and move forward it's a positive ending for shinji. Shinji strangling Asuka is by all means a bad ending. Shinji in EOE doesn't learn to accept himself and he gives into his weakness and cowardess and his inability to choose himself and be better. (I'm going to get into the rebuilds now and im a little rusty on them as i badly need to rewatch them so bare with me) Shinji at the end of the rebuilds is an adult he is freed from the shackles of being a teenager and his old ways of being(cowardly and introverted). He has significantly grown and he as accepted himself and grown to be better than he was before. But he still has the collar? The collar for shinji is representing his ties to the Evas even though they are no more. I see it as he kind of is holding onto that part of him. He is healed but he is still hold on to that beacuse it is what makes him whole. Mari removes this collar in the end and says "You're talking like a real grown up" I think this only reenforces that shinji has grown and no longer  needs to be reminded of the eva's. I just love marishinji (even though kawroushinji is significantly superior im a man of multiple tastes). Idk what else to say i just really like evangelion