May 16th 2025

"id rather die drunk broke at 34 and have people at a dinner tables talk about me than live to be rich and sober at 90 and nobody remembered who i was" its inspiring how people can aim for something so desperately, such a grand pursuit of greatness. i wish to be one of the greats but i have no passion nor talent for it, but i cant help but wonder what if? sometimes. ive been smoking weed a lot recently n i cant think right anymore, i just need a distraction from everything

i turned 18 a couple days ago, she wished me a happy birthday without saying anything else, but i think i like it that way. its weird to think that im an "adult" now. i feel like i haven't matured a bit

i wana kill myself but theres apart of me thats afraid of missing out on my life. ive made a promise with myself that if there isnt much change in my life in the next 2 years ill kill myself

With all that said

im gona make a movie 

about my mundane life, or someone a muse even, with a little fantasy 

ill call it VICTORY