I don't know tbh.

I'm trying to shift my life around but it feels like I'm stuck in a corner and unable to come out. I always have to be shoved into a mould that I don't even fit into. I'm supposed to be myself, I'm not supposed to be here, attending stupid fancy dinner meanwhile my mom brags about my achievements. Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I can be happy, sure I get what I want but it's just this stupid cycle of asking and getting. I'm always pressured to be the better version of myself but I'm already the best, my mother wants me to be exactly like her but I don't want to. I understand my mother has had a hard life bc she got adopted and her foster parents left her when they had a son, that isn't an excuse to treat me this way. I might be the golden heir but I don't think I can handle this anymore. I have snapped under pressure way too many times. My mother always thinks she is right because she has 'crossed this path" before. Long story short she hasn't. My dad was the most faithful person but he was lazy and will never accept he's wrong, I always thought he was bad but after seeing the kind of men my mother dated, he's actually just a decent guy. my mother dated multiple red flags. I was 1 when my dad and mom divorced. She found another guy right after, she proposed an idea to get married but he said "I have a wife but I don't sleep in the same bed as her, I don't even visit her for a couple of years". my mother thought nothing of it until he cheated on her when I was attending my final exams, she told me and I felt pity, I felt sad. She went down this stupid "energy" or religious rabbit-hole believing everything and wasting money on it. Yes you can gain money but you have to lose a lot in the process. I understand she is grieving, she knows I'm sad too but she is still straining my mental health after the stress I got from my exams, my reputation and dignity and she expects me to repay her. I'm js gonna be myself instead of following her path.