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One thing I seem to notice when ppl are looking for friends on spachey..
or anywhere......
is that the general consensus is that it's relatively difficult to make friends.
I agree it's hard to make friends, yes, but a lotta y'all just expect people to message you first.
I see a lotta "message me"'s and "it's hard to make friends, if you wanna be, msg me!"
(Note: I'm ranting, obviously, there's nothing wrong with looking for friends and occasionally sitting back to have others find you based off of certain things like your interests n shit. That's fine.)
....but.....I digress. Not all friendships have to start by the other person talking to you first.
It wouldn't hurt to occasionally step outta your comfort zone and try to msg someone you think is cool!! I've started dong this again and honestly? It's slow, but it's not that bad.
(in my opinion.)
worst case scenario is that they're the worst person ever, then you can just block them.
Here's me wishing all the other shy, introverted, or anxious folks who js wanna make friends luck. (Keep on trying. <33)
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DØPΞPØPΞ🇨🇦
I enjoyed reading this blog .
💛💚💙 maybe you'll find a gem hiding .. all I'm saying 🙏
IMO, I think it's a two way street.
Can't expect to find friends if your not willing to have small talk, I think small talk happens more because of being nervous. I have social anxiety in crowds and am really quite in person irl . Texting is better for me personally. give people a chance you never know how they are feeling. Most times once you find a connection people open up.
way
i mean i agree with this but also it's kind of hard to find friends who have the same interests as you sometimes because you can't really search anywhere for that and blogs seem really underutilized
Very fair. I suppose I js generally assumed folks would typically also be open to making friends with folks who might not also be into the same interests. :] "testing the waters" n such. (which is also optional.... not everyones' "fun", or "nice".)
I appreciate this perspective. <33
by Boogi.Bellxx; ; Report
the main reason it's hard to make friends imo is because of how hard it is to find active people who share interests. only one of my favorited people here is active (out of the 8 people i've favorited). but assuming they were all active and i wasn't friends with them now, i would probably only go out of my way to friend 4 of them (based on their current pfps), despite the fact that we have (had) similar interests. because your pfp and your name are the only thing people see when you go on the "browse" page, it is easy to deduce whose profile you plan to look at. unfortunately i am too lazy to look through everyone's profiles individually so
also i am open to having friends who don't share interests. but when i go out of my way to friend people, i usually just look for people who have things in common with me. i can't exactly 'test the waters' when it comes to interests because my brain doesn't work like that (i have ADHD and according to the ADHD overlord, only my hyperfixation can be lent all of my attention rip)
also also i don't tend to message people (first). because erm idk. sometimes DMs (IMs) tend to lead to small talk. which is ok but like i really hate "how are you"s and stuff :( it feels much too repetitive for me. bulletins and blogs (comment sections) all the wayyy (and i don't like feeling obligated to continue a conversation too uhm)
by way; ; Report
To comment on the last part abt how repetitive small talk is, I’ve never related more to anything. It sucks having/or even starting off with small talk UGHH. It’s…an annoying cycle
by Boogi.Bellxx; ; Report