Connie Sgarbossa

Questions that I explore the answers to within this blog post are, how does SeeYouSpaceCowboy break boundaries within the hardcore genre as a band? What messages does Connie Sgarbossa convey in her writing? How is Connie’s identity critical to SeeYouSpaceCowboy’s message and impact to DIY scenes?

In the 80s Hardcore Punk was pioneered by many bands all over the US but the most influential bands hailed from Washington D.C consisting of Fugazi and Bad Brains. Simultaneously scenes emerged in California with bands like Black Flag from Hermosa Beach, and then Pitchfork, and Drive like Jehu, and Heroin and these bands are among one of the most influential San Diego Hardcore bands in the 90s which emerged into a 2000’s scene with bands that utilized metal influences. Metal inspired hardcore, also known as metal-core is unique as the genre typically but not always uses intricate melodic intricate guitar lines layered with melodic screaming that quickly switch into heavy and fast guitar instrumentals and guttural screams. Bands that pioneered this sound include Poison the Well, At the Drive-In, Norma Jean and Converge. One important aspect to hardcore culture is the idea of straightedge, originally coined by Ian Mackaye of Minor Threat who then went on to form Fugazi, often accredited to be the first emotional hardcore or “emo” band. Straightedge is a subculture within hardcore where there is an emphasis on abstaining from drugs and alcohol, with an even smaller culture within that of vegan straightedge. Cowboy is not a straight edge band but they do advocate for fans and listeners to become vegan at shows, which has become an important part of their identity. Eventually, the spread of these bands along with other metalcore bands was achieved on MySpace,  a popular social media website where users could customize their profiles and write blogs. The emergence of “scene emo” came from this, a subculture that contained different kinds of music and sub subcultures with “white belt emo” emerging as a genre that had heavy influence on the earliest Cowboy songs off the compilation Songs for the Firing Squad.

New Jersey band, Orchid included the same metalcore switch between slow and heavy with extremely jarring and powerful high pitched screaming vocals which utilized dance elements and dissonance which were never previously utilized before within the genre.  Furthermore, Seattle band, The Blood Brothers further incorporated dance and indie elements to hardcore then added a layer of homoeroticism within the lyrics, also consisting of two male vocalists that both scream and sing high pitched and flamboyantly. Orchid and The Blood Brothers among other bands are credited to have created this unique counter counter-culture within the genre now known as Sasscore which challenged the hypermasculinity within hardcore and post-hardcore spaces at the time. In San Diego, one music venue was integral to the formation of SYSC and Connie’s introduction to hardcore. Named after Che Guevara who revolutionized Argentina, the Che Cafe is an anarchist student-run music venue on the University of California, San Diego campus. Built around 1940 and sold to UCSD in 1980 where students renamed it after Guevara and was seen as a counterculture, socialist space serving vegetarian dishes and hosting local punk and reggae shows. Eventually in the 90’s it became a safe space for LGBT, anti-authoritarian activists who were against US overseas military interventions. USCD tried to close Che Cafe in 2000 and 2014-2016 periodically for “renovations” as the Fire Marshall were repeatedly investigating into the space as a result of local conservative attempts to shut down DIY spaces for punks. Connie was a core member while she was in high school. She talks about going to a show every single weekend at Che which is how she became a core member. Her experiences include Che’s collective being divided because most of the volunteers including her weren’t willing to break up fights or risk being hurt over fights that would happen during shows. Since students run the space it’s harder to enforce their straight edge policies as most music venues and DIY spaces have drugs and alcohol normalized. 

Connie’s very first musical projects consisted of the band “Flowers Taped to Pens” which she started in 2014 after high school with her little brother Ethan Sgarbossa who played the guitar. With only one release, S/T, the record consists of melancholic guitar tones that are identical to Midwest emotional hardcore bands that emphasized intricate guitar lines and discordant unfitting vocal qualities. This record is certainly unpolished with instrumentals being very out of tempo, but that DIY quality adds a layer of endearment for the listener. The second short lived band was Rene Descartes, Connie was an English major and this shows in her poetic lyrics and vocabulary in later songs. 

Described as the most musically complex record in terms of production on Connie’s part. Her first time using 5/6 time signatures and the song writing process was dependent on the melodies at first while the tongue-in-cheek provocative lyrics were added later. The entire album is only 18 minutes long but is riddled with fast tempo changes and rapid breakdowns. The most notable track “Self Help Specialist Ends Own Life” features catchy panic chords along with lyrics like “we’re calling out against the forked tongue” establishing Connie’s denial of oppressive institutions like religion as the last text of the song is “this is the deicide of dogma.” Another track “You Can’t get Goose Justice in Fox Court” the text compares Jesus and God to oppressive forces and their methods of control. Another major topic of the text on Songs for the Firing Squad is the hypocrisy of allies to the leftist cause who spread a sense of false security with the lyric ‘Why do we say you’re safe, when wolves will still grab you.” This sentiment rings true not only to the queer community who are promised by politicians to be safe, yet regulations for this safety are never permanent or effective for any minorities. Finally, one of the clearest sentiments of this record is that you, as someone who recognizes injustice should be willing to fight back against oppressors. With an interview in 2018 with Revolver Magazine she says “’It also kind of plays into people who are telling other people to pipe down about social justice. It’s not just the right, it's also centrists — liberals are also telling the heavy left to quiet down.’ She adds resolutely: ‘I will not hide my identity. I will not appease people.’” 

SeeYouSpaceCowboy continued to tour around the US and eventually got signed onto Pure Noise records in 2019 where they released Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds. A change going into Correlation, is that she and the rest of the band utilized the record as a “cathartic release,” an outlet for the depression and struggles in all of their lives, which is why the band took a departure from sass to focus on darker hardcore. Connie says in an interview that she was tired of people expecting her queer leftist band to disapprove of playing with heavier artists due to moshing which has always been a part of hardcore. She asserts that just because she is a woman and her band is leftist and queer, that doesn’t mean she’s less worthy of playing with heavier bands. In 2024 interviews she talks about how she still loves to “crowd kill” meaning she intentionally hits other people in the crowd who are in, and alongside the mosh pit. The violence has always been a part of the scene and is very widely accepted and encouraged by both SYSC and other hardcore bands. Connie is even known for her spin-kicking mosh style. 

The Correlation between Entrance and Exit wounds has the darkest and heaviest lyrics out of any SYSC record with topics ranging from police brutality, self-destructive behaviors, losing hope to continue life, feigning strength to survive, and the night her girlfriend passed away. “Late December” is the most emotionally charged and cathartic songs by SYSC with a slow melodic build-up to the explosive chorus as Connie speaks over the track opening with “I still remember that night sitting in silence hoping But I already knew you were gone.” The breakdown includes fast, bass heavy guitars then slows back into that melancholic guitar riff as she screams the words “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t help you…. In the end I can’t accept that I’m here and you’re not.” Connie says that the loss of Natalie destroyed her, causing her to depend on alcohol as a form of coping, the song is memorialized to her every time it is performed. On the album “Late December” is immediately followed by “Put on a Show, Don’t Let Them See You Fall” which features text that empowers the listener and herself saying, “Show them you’re not a lost cause, Don’t be afraid to exist” Connie wants you to fight back and she is keeping herself afloat even after the devastating loss of someone so close to her. She shows the listener that even if she has gone through this extreme hardship that she has hope and she has the strength to keep herself afloat, the final line of the album being, “The fire will not burn you down, you can claim it.” She has accepted that she is crashing and burning, but rather than letting it consume her and keep her down, she accepts her struggles with what they are. 

This message rings true with continued emotionally charged lyrics on The Romance of Affliction released in 2021. The band takes a musical shift as both Timmy Moreno and Taylor Allen join the band again, as Timmy is classically trained and Taylor sings melodically with a clear voice.  There is also a new drummer, AJ Tartol who takes the tempo changes and percussive fills to a newer level, with Isaac Hale of Knocked Loose writing them in tandem with the rest of the band. This mixture of new musicians regains the sass that SeeYouSpaceCowboy were initially known for in addition to interesting and chaotic writing decisions. The lyrics of each song read like a diary entry, but with three vocalists with such extremely different vocal timbre, Taylor’s whiny voice, Connie’s powerful screams and high-pitched sassy singing, and Ethan’s guttural screams, every track is wild and steals the listeners attention. The main lyrical themes are about self-sacrifice, love, and coping with loss.  One song “Anything to Take me anywhere but Here” is extremely unpredictable from start to finish, the fast switches between heavy breakdowns to heartfelt melodic singing, with jazz and dance elements that then slow down into an indie rock outro. Connie and Taylor lay all their insides out on the table with lyrics that detail a “back and forth” with both of their struggles with addiction and depression. Connie’s message is to portray her raw self to break the stigma of addiction and what it feels like to experience it in the worst parts of it. This creates a platform for artists to share their struggles with addiction rather than suffering alone. 

The final SeeYouSpaceCowboy record is Coup De Grace which came out April 19th, 2024. influences include Bloc Party’s Silent Alarm, Interpol, Two Door Cinema Club, and Panic at the Disco’s A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out all of which are indie rock albums. The single, “Lubricant like Kerosene” features Provocative homosexual imagery with heavy influence from Cabaret and Moulin Rouge with burlesque and swing musical elements. Coup De Grace is one the strongest visual concepts that Connie has ever created as CDG is a concept album with every track being an individual story that all takes place in one city. Described as an escape for the listener, the world of Coup de Grace is a celebration of life, sexuality, and appreciation for smaller moments in a burning world. 

There is a certain expectation that comes with being a queer woman, to constantly talk about empowerment and of that queerness in a very consumable way. Connie breaks every expectation that is placed on her as a trans woman by just being her most authentic self with interests she’s always had and still has a passion for. She is not the traditional image of a lesbian either as she is the only largely known lesbian artist within the current hardcore scene. “When I first came out, I thought I had to be very feminine and that was the only way society was ever going to accept me, but I realized that I still wanted to be me and do the things I like. Why can’t I do those things as a woman?” (Alternative Press 2019) This is very relevant to today’s queer climate where many trans and queer kids and young adults are stereotyped and placed into categories which they never fit into before just because they are a certain gender or sexuality. With social media, the pressure to present a certain way is further encouraged especially with being transgender and having that cisgender approval to “pass” or the dangerous narrative that to become “really trans” you must medically transition. There is no set way to be a woman or man, cisgender or transgender, so it is strange that currently those social stigmas only fall on and are targeted towards trans people.

 On a more personal note, the way Connie presents herself has changed my own perception of gender. Being nonbinary, I’ve accepted my own perception of myself and my expression is never going to match what someone else thinks of it and I am perfectly fine with that. Authenticity is something that’s integral to SeeYouSpaceCowboy as a band and that spills into their fanbase as every fan I have ever met is incredibly down to earth and kind. Unfortunately, this authenticity is also what broke up the band as in March of 2025, Connie broke up the band as she was being allegedly ignored when the label or rest of the band agreed to tour with known abusers in the hardcore scene, Dance Gavin Dance. The hypermasculine and faux counterculture side to hardcore and heavy metal scenes is that many men- from security to band members- believe they can get away with abusing and grooming underage fans and women. SeeYouSpaceCowboy have gone radio silent on all platforms and are not expected by any fans to return to touring and making new music. Regardless of their abrupt ending as a band, Connie’s cathartic lyrics and authentic artistic direction will continue to influence not only other bands within the current hardcore and DIY scene but other artists and creative directors.