I feel like a dog that is just used for entertainment

I'm alone at school because people think I'm weird or something, and I already accepted it, there is nothing i can do, but there are some girls from my class and I KNOW I'M NOT THEIR FRIENDS but it seems like my brain does not know how to think of them, like, my brain works like this

a) Be rude as fuck to them

b) Talk too much about personal things and forget that i should't be saying this type of things to people that ARE NOT MY FRIENDS

I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE GENTLE WITHOUT TRYING TO BE NICE! AND IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING SAD BECAUSE THEY TREAT ME BAD AND I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I TOLD THEM TOO MUCH INFORMATION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

They make me so sad, really, i try too much to have more friends at my school but they just pretend I don't exist

It's very easy to make me cry but I can't even cry about it because it's already normal to me, I just wish i had more friends, i think I say too much

People at my school say shit when i wear makeup and they think I'm ugly, I don't really care abou what they think but it hurts me to know that they have the courage to say bad things to people they don't know

With that said, maybe i have ADHD, I already went to the doctor and I'm waiting for the result, so if you talk to me, be aware that i'm very sentimental, I cry a lot, and I think a lot too