Application to be your best friend/ a plea for friendship

Dear future best friend, 

Ngl I don't know what courage possessed me to write this and I'm probably going to regret this. But as you can probably tell I'm offering myself as a candidate to be your best friend or just a friend. A best friend for hire basically. The only thing I want in return would be your attention (yes I'm clingy and needy) and your Roblox account ( to play no other motives here). Tbh Im probably the least qualified out there for friendship and whatever but when your constantly bored and want someone to talk to (me), desperation makes you use unorthodox methods and I basically have nothing to lose. Something worth mentioning about me is that I'm a Pisces ( I actually might have single handedly reduced my chances of making friends to zero with this one). Unfortunately that means an constant mood swings and 15 other different personalities that switch up faster than flipping a coin. On the other hand I do have some redeeming qualities( hopefully) that will (also hopefully) make me seem more of a normal person and less like a deranged mental patient. I will accept you completely as you are meaning I will match your freak and I will text you daily and quickly. (I will never leave you on read). I especially like playing scary horror games in Roblox so we can play together(dw I'm a scaredy cat too). And I wanna do cute best friend activities like matching quotes and pfp. I wouldn't mind exchanging tiktoks ( I would send you broken humor, brain rot, edits, etc). I like writing and drawing( talentless hobbies that is suck at but still do) so (if you want) I would like to express our friendship through poems and doodles. I like anime and I read bl and Yuri so if you happen to read that that wound be nice ( need new recs). So yeah I would support you in whatever you do and we could have serious talks some days and then we could have the craziest hear me outss in history. I'm up for shenanigans and fun. But yeah the only thing I can't do is send the first message( I'm a socially constipated introvert) but if you do accept my application as your best friend then please send the first message otherwise I'll stare at the screen and disengage/combust. So yeah –Sincerely your future best friend 

PS: I will act like a reclusive old man who's lived on a solitary island and hasn't have social interaction in like 10 years it's bc I'm shy and awkward( I've never had online friends before)