I've set it upon myself to read the entire saga of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams because the plot is that there is no plot and its all a collection of funny hahas. I seriously recommend you read it if its the first time you've heard about it. I haven't watched the movie yet, but I will speak in great length about my opinion on the character designs, so be warned before commenting. In summary, the book is better. I hope im not infringing any copyright laws rn lol

I'm currently on Chapter 21 of the second book "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" but I'll be updating as I read along. I'll import all of my highlights once I'm done with the book, so the next update should take a while.

I was looking for a picture of that two-headed three-armed teddy bear to put as a decoration but i found this instead and its so funny i cantsngkr why is he pointing at some shoes in an alleyway

The hahas must be shared.

I highlighted the funniest ones in pink for those who want to save time and get strrraight to the good stuff.

Book 1

Chapter 01

"'Oh shut up,' said Arthur Dent. 'Shut up and go away, and take your bloody bypass with you. You haven't got a leg to stand on and you know it.'

Mr. Prosser's mouth opened and closed a couple of times whilst his mind was for a moment filled with inexplicable but terribly attractive visions of Arthur Dent's house being consumed with fire and Arthur himself running and screaming from the blazing ruin with at least three hefty spears protruding from his back."

Chapter 06

"Howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl howl gargle howl gargle howl howl gargle gargle howl gargle gargle gargle howl slurrp uuuurgh" 

(yes this is a real quote exactly how its written at the beginning of chapter 6. no i refuse to give context.)

"The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But" says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear" says God, "I haven't thought of that." and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

Chapter 07

"'So this is it' said Arthur 'we are going to die.' 

'Yes' said ford 'except... no! Wait a minute!' He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision 'What's this switch?' he cried.

'What? Where?' cried Arthur, twisting around.

'No, I was only fooling,' said Ford 'we are going to die after all.'"

"'You know,' Said Arthur, 'it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young'"

Chapter 08

"By totally staggering coincidence, that is also the telephone number of an Islington flat where Arthur once went to a very good party and met a very nice girl whom he totally failed to get off with-she went off with a gatecrasher."

Chapter 09

"'Ford,' he said, 'you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'"

Chapter 17

There was supposed to be a quote here, but out of context its not very funny. Thing is, its that moment when the Heart of Gold is about to crash and the computer starts to sing in its final moments. Ok, proceeding with the quote.

"And you'll never walk alone... Impact minus five seconds, it's been great to know you guys, God bless... You'll ne...ver... walk... alone!"

This goes on for several pages btw.

Chapter 18

"'Hey, kid, you just saved our lives, you know that?'

'Oh,' said Arthur, 'well, it was nothing really...'

'Was it?' said Zaphod. 'Oh well, forget it, then. OK, computer, take us in to land.'

'But...'

'I said forget it.'

Chapter 20

"He flung the torch beam around. The walls were covered in dark tiles and were cold to the touch, the air thick with decay. 

'There, what did I tell you?' he said, 'An inhabited planet. Magrathea.' And he strode on through the dirt and debris that littered the tile floors. 

Trillian was reminded unavoidably of the London Underground, though it was less thoroughly squalid."

Chapter 22

"The man stifled a very slight yawn and continued. 'The computers were index linked to the Galactic stock-market prices, you see, so that we'd all be revived when everybody else had rebuilt the economy enough to afford our rather expensive services.' 

Arthur, a regular Guardian reader, was deeply shocked at this."

"He paused. 'My name,' he said, '...is Slartibartfast.' Arthur practically choked."

Chapter 27

"He gestured Arthur towards a chair which looked as if it was made out of the ribcage of a stegosaurus.

'It was made out of the ribcage of a stegosaurus'"

Chapter 28

"Suddenly, Arthur began to feel his apparently nonexistant scalp begin to crawl as he found himself moving slowly but inexorably forward towards the console, but it was only a dramatic zoom on the part of whoever had made the recording."

Chapter 32

"They performed a scampering dance in their excitement."

"'Hey,' he said, 'I though you said you didn't want to shoot us!' and ducked again.

They waited. After a moment a voice replied 'It isn't easy being a cop!'"

"'Now see here, guy,' said the voice on the loud hailer, 'you're not dealing with any dumb two-bit-trigger-pumping morons with low hairlines, little piggy eyes and no conversation, we're a couple of intelligent caring guys that you'd probably quite like if you met us socially! I don't go around gratuitously shooting people and then bragging about it afterwards in seedy space-rangers' bars, like some cops I could mention! I go around shooting people gratuitously and then I agonize about it afterwards for hours to my girlfriend!'

'And I write novels!' chimed in the other cop. 'Though I haven't published any of them yet, so I better warn you, I'm in a meeeean mood!'"

"Because there are some things you have to do even if you are an enlightened liberal cop who knows all about sensitivity and everything!"

Chapter 33

"'Right,' said Ford, 'I'm going to have a look.' He glanced round at the others. 'Is no one going to say, No you can't possibly, let me go instad?' They all shook their heads. 'Oh well,' he said, and stood up."

Chapter 34

"'That ship hated me', he said dejectedly, indicating the policecraft.

'That ship?' said Ford in sudden excitement. 'What happened to it? Do you know?'

'It hated me because I talked to it.'

'You talked to it?' Exclaimed Ford 'What do you mean, you talked to it?'

'Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,' said Marvin.

'And what happened?' Pressed Ford.

'It committed suicide,' said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold."



That's it for now, hope you had fun ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ