therapy session 001

so i came back from therapy 

i told the lady about everything. I took a note that I wrote and I gave it to her but first I gave her a different list about things I wanted to talk about from my therapy talking point blog..

she asked me to pick three things I wanted to speak about so I picked identity, the need to fix everything, and sensory issues. 

she asked me which thing to talk about first, I didn’t know so I just shook my head but then she said “I saw you picked identity first so maybe we should talk about that” and I was like, “okay”.

we talked about identity and Fischl and she asked “why do you think youre like fischl?”, and “what does identity mean to you?”

I told her because we both relate ourselves to characters and because we think of the world in a different way.. we view ourselves certain ways.. and we try to talk formally but don’t know certain words and get embarrassed. i also said identity is how you view yourself, but then she asked how i view myself and i didnt want to seem crazy by saying “the decoder” so i said i dont know. 

and I said that Fischl talks formally around everybody else but when she’s alone, she talks pretty regular and casually or with Ozzie, so she asked me if I talk casually with my pets, or if I talk formally, and I told her that I talk casually with my animals..

she asked why I think Fischl would talk formally around everyone else and I said because she feels the need to prove her identity as a princess to everyone else and the traveler and stuff but when she’s alone, she feels like a princess and she doesn’t feel like she needs to prove it with formality.

she asked if the way i was talking to her was a way of speaking i considered formal. told her no. she asked about something i like, and i told her marine animals.

she asked me to be more specific, so i brought up sharks and told her facts about whale sharks because those are my favorite. then i showed her the note about the sandbox. she said it made sense for me to speak about or think about the “world” using metaphors like the sandbox. 

she asked how i use my nexus relic to describe or log things, and if i used a notes app or journal, something similar.. i told her i journal and blog like this but i didnt tell her where..

she told me knowing my interests already makes me know some of my identity already in the first place so i thought that was good.. 

i asked about her interests and she said she likes slow or pop, love music, so i gave her music recommendations.. then i left.

but when I was leaving, my mom told me she asked about an autism evaluation, and that she’ll be speaking with the lady who prescribed me my medication—my mood stabilizers for a referral to a place to get evaluated, so I can get an IEP or a 504 plan when I go back to school in August, so I don’t have as much anxiety and I can have accommodations for things like my headphones and stuff.

 I’m kind of scared to get accommodations because I don’t want to be seen as weird or like I don’t have to listen to the rules + I’m scared of being seen as different from everybody else because I get accommodations.

 they said that the process might include a waiting list and that will probably take 6 to 9 months to get a diagnosis but there’s nothing really else to say after that .