therapy talking points ?

... last blog of the night. 

I guess based on what I last wrote, there are some clear things that I should talk about with my therapist..so I decided to write them all out here and hopefully it’ll help me remember them for my session today at 2 PM. 

I have a session every 2 PM every Tuesday. whatever! anyways!

wait don’t go yet ! I decided that before every blog I’m gonna put this picture

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Feeling Stuck in Therapy

maybe i should start by saying I don’t know what to talk about during sessions. or I don’t like answering the questions she gives me. maybe more like

 “i don’t know how to answer” because i don’t want to hurt anyones feelings. “It’s been months, and I feel like I haven’t made much progress.” would probably be good too. i feel stuck in one spot. god.

Feeling Like I’m Not Doing Anything Worth Talking About

“I stay in my room most days and do the same things, so I never know how to answer, ‘How was your week?’”

“I don’t go to school or have a job, so I feel like I have nothing new to say.” just boring boring boring that’s all i do

Unsure How to Bring Up Medication

“You haven’t asked about my meds, and I don’t know how or when to bring them up.” that’s.. like all i can really say about that. idk. because like what else am I supposed to say about that topic…. like that’s all I can really say ..like..like you don’t…..!!!!!!!! you’re not talking about it that’s all I can really say I don’t know!!!! 

Overwhelmed by How Many Problems I have <— too many, by the friggin way.

“I don’t know which issue to bring up first or how to deal with one thing without spiraling about everything else.”

“It feels impossible to fix anything when everything feels broken.” god im so emo 

Exhausted by How Long Therapy Takes

“It feels like I’ve barely made progress even after 3 months.”

“I worry that I won’t have time in life to figure everything out.”

Conflicted About Trying

“trying feels like I’m wasting everyone’s time if I don’t do it perfectly.” <— so real i’m always spitting ngl i CANT DO ANYTHIGN RIGHT WHATS THE POINT!!!!!

“bein vulnerable with someone I barely know is hard and scary.” <— maybe i should ask her about herself.. things she likes.. to be more like friends.. that makes sens…ee  heh im so smardt

“i want to change, but I don’t know if I have the energy.” <— or care 🥀

Struggling With Identity and Being My Own Person

“I feel like I’ve borrowed everything from others—opinions, emotions, personality.” <— when saying others i should specific characters and youtubers and internet personalities .. mostly fischl…. fischk,kll… FISCHL FISCHL

doc i got a bwd caes of fidchl identityndisdorder

“I don’t know who I am, and when I try to be ‘normal,’ it feels like I’m in a cage.”

“I want to have my own emotions, but they feel influenced or stolen.” <— like i can’t think about anything except what im told to. the matrix im telling you <— more on the matrix i probably have 8th grader syndrome. matric matrix matricx my nexus relic (https://fischlwoke.straw.page/)

Difficulty Understanding or Naming Emotions

“I can’t tell what I’m feeling unless it’s really intense.” <— bad 

“Sometimes I cry but don’t know why.” <— i feel like everyone does this idk

“I don’t know if I’m numb or overwhelmed, or both.”

Struggles With Memory and Focus (<— these ones are gonna get me in the ward)

“I forget things that happened just hours or days ago.” 

“I don’t remember much of my childhood.”

“When people ask me what I’m thinking, my mind goes blank.”

. Feeling Too Much, Too Fast

“I feel so much at once that I call it ‘numbness,’ but I’m not actually numb.” <— this is so vague but idk how to explain it in any other way.. so heh

“I get sensory fuzziness and brain fog when I feel too much.”

Wishing for a Pause

“I wish time could stop so I could organize everything.” <— i want it all TOD STOP I WAN TIT RO STOP (haha tit typo)

“I wouldn’t know where to start, even if I had all the time in the world.” 

The Pressure to Fix Everything

“I feel like I have to fix everything in my life.” <— everything is broken and hellush and im in the nether

“I act like I have to save everyone, but I can’t even help myself.” 

thats it lads. bye . it’s 4:30 am now. didn’t go to sleep. lied to u all. sorry!