Journal // Vent // 1

I'm trying my best to help him. I do everything I can and it's never good enough. I'm never good enough. I wish I could help. I want to be useful. I want him to smile again. But I'm just not good enough I guess.

I want to die. I want to die so bad. I miss him. I miss when he wasn't depressed. He refuses to get professional help. I'm fucking drowning with him now. But he's always been there for me.. But it's also not fair that my emotional needs are being neglected. 

I'M SO FUCKING ANGRY AND SAD. I feel like I'm burning up inside. I fucking hate having BPD.