This is where it ends. It's the death of Sonic4 Test Records. (+ news)

I was going to make this blogpost last week, but I was busy with other stuff and just didn't feel like it. I'm still not in the mood to make a new blogpost, but this one is going to be really important.

I'll try to recap the events of the past month (and the entire history of this label) for those who know or don't know.

As you may know, we've been struggling as a "community" for months now. Always rambling on about some dead chat. Always finding something to complain about. Tensions rise as my patience runs out.

I've been planning to kill this label for a long while. My original plan was to become "EVIL S0NIC" after releasing I HATE MUSIC, kicking out Soviet, and probably a couple of other people too, killing the label, and leaving the server. That plan did happen, but not in the way you think.

You see, I've been delaying the inevitable since January. I always had some hope for all of us. I always had a feeling that no matter how bad things seem now, it was going to get better. But you have to know that when you keep holding on to this false hope over and over and being let down over and over, it starts to get frustrating. That's why I started hating my own community.

Every message I read pissed me off, and I was shy in my own server. One day, I finally had enough, and I actually left the server to not come back again. People assumed that I left for no reason, because I didn't rant in twitter or in end-of-waffling before leaving like I usually used to do. I think the last thing I saw before leaving was Stomach Acid complaining about his life again.

After I left, I made a single about how I hoped for the server to change for the better, but no one listened to my cries.

The Butcher's Dream by Eray & Hits

This was proven time and time again, because I intentionally said "What's done is done" and "We cannot just write off his final scene" in the lyrics. Guess what people did? Absolutely nothing. Barely anyone even talked about it, and no one cared. This was proof that there was no hope for us.

Now, I'd like to talk about myself and my experience behind the wall. The wall is obviously a metaphor for how a person turns in on themself after being hurt countless times. This could be anything, but in the end, the person feels alienated from the world around them, and doesn't want to go out there and potentially risk getting hurt again.

The wall for me, it was being built since 2023. I'll tell you, the first brick was the Mr Mister argument over AuditoryStaleDöner. More bricks came in with The Grand Argument (The Master Of Arguments), smaller arguments with my friends, late 2023 when Fake-Love controversy happened, I was so hopeless that I was dependant on Izumi to literally exist. That's how desperate I was.

We ended 2023 with a great party, I broke up with Izumi and finally felt free again. That triple STALE lineup was great too. Life was finally amazing again. Now, let's look at 2024. 

2024 was a great year thanks to Alice and ASDF. Without a doubt, they're the reason why my life was amazing and why this community thrived. We made so many albums, so many memories, and everyone was happy... Well, mostly. We still had our souls, that's for sure.

Some people split the timeline as Pre-Tewi and Post-Tewi, so I'll talk about the impact Tewi Inaba had for our community. Obviously, she was a fraud, but she blinded me with her... Care? I'm going to assume that she cared about us, or more for me, but Soviet claims that she did it just to feel important and powerful in the community. I can't say the validity of that, but Tewi's existence was a double-sided sword. 

On one hand, her optimism and energy were wonderful for our community. She motivated me, even with her "fake care", to improve the label and make more albums even though she didn't fucking listen to them. She's lowkey the reason why the website got a second overhaul and how Sonic4 Test Records became an established label. 

On the other hand, other members (The Careborn and ASDF) found her very annoying. Tewi and Careborn were fighting over different beliefs regarding religion, and ASDF simply hated Tewi and took every chance to start a fight over anything.

Now, I'll rewind for a bit, because in August, that's when life truly became awful for me. August was the first time I absolutely hated making an album but had to force myself to put something great out. It was also when I was utterly depressed and had what some call "schizophrenic" experiences.

I won't get into much detail though. What you should know is, everything took a turn for the worse in August. Now, it's time to talk about the most important turning point for our community. The "Between" incident.

Between (also known as between 1 and 32 characters and later as Jasie I think?) was an alternative account / persona of ASDF. That in and of itself already sounds weird but hear me out. It's completely normal for people to have that kind of thing going on, especially in our server.

Anyways, back to the story. Between's gimmick was formerly "ASDF but more chill" because you know him, he used to be really rude, angry, and he used to leave the server a lot. Between didn't have much of an importance until he became a furry. Here is how that happened.

In 2024, Changed (video game) was a semi-frequent topic because of HappyEpicBoi and James Woz. Not too frequent and important, but it was brought up from time to time. Between was curious about what it was, and I warned him to not check it out because I knew that it would change him as a person. I knew this because I've been through that hell in 2021.

Yep. In 2021, I was dealing with these latex bastards 24/7, beating them up and soon I realized that it was all a trap. It's a trap that subconsciously brainwashes you into becoming one of them. It's presented as a game that puts you, a human (or most likely a furry hater) as the main character, and you have to basically escape this post-apocalyptic facility without being infected.

Anyways, back to Between. The last thing the normal between said was: "If I become a furry, ban me, I don't know?" which... It's depressing, really. I don't know how much time passed, but he became a furry one night. 

We thought that it was another troll, another attempt at reviving the chat. We had a lot of fun quoting hilariously out of context messages, making fun of him, and all of that stuff. He then said that he wasn't a furry and that it was a joke.

He did it again, and he said that it was a joke again. But after, what, the third time? It wasn't a joke anymore. He personally went out to Tewi Inaba, and basically "infected" her. Before the Between incident, Tewi was already trying to recover from previous furry "incidents". After Between talked to her, she made up her mind, or more so, lost it completely.

Tewi became a furry. 100%. I was in denial, I was trying to convince her that it wasn't true, but she did not listen. It was too late.

...

This was the turning point for our community. We were constantly being exposed to furries, and the threat of other members becoming furries was also a real threat. Heck, even I started meowing at some point. Fuck... It was fucking horrible.

This was also when Tewi started to become careless for real. To remind you, she was the co-owner of the label. She stopped being active in the server. She stopped caring about me, and about our community. This was when The Careborn felt betrayed, too. He saw that this community ignored his cries for help, and instead, chose to cherish the furry business.

What was I doing then? Well, I was going insane like I always do. I'm not sure if Grieving after Sanae happened around the same time, but this is late 2024 we're talking about.

Now, it was time for STALE10. The STALE album that everybody (mainly Tewi) was waiting for. I wasn't feeling mentally well, the community was in shambles, but I started the project in December 1st. Just like STALE04, we had the same concept, same idea, same dates, same deadlines. 

Things went wrong quickly. Everybody started dumping songs without even thinking of the track listing, it was as if everyone was waiting to take a shit on the STALE toilet for an entire year. I tried to put it aside and still uploaded the tracks to Bandcamp.

The runtime was quickly filled in. I was really angry and unstable, so I just quit the project right there. It lasted 24 hours. From December 1st (midnight) to December 2nd. After I quit, nobody knew what was going to happen to this highly anticipated album. Alice and Yukari tried to take matters to their hands, but they failed to carry on.

Then... I came back. The submissions were closed, but by re-arranging the already existing submissions (and getting rid of the really bad ones), I made THE BEST compilation of all time. I proved that even in my worst, I could make something great. It was beloved and is still "The Best" STALE album of all time.

Tewi was absent throughout all of this. She was busy in real life, and was upset that she didn't make it in the album. We weren't though, because we all know how STALE09 turned out. Tewi is a great musician, but awful when it comes to compilations.

On a small side note though, STALE09 had an impact in our community too. It was so bad that it got me crashing out in school, and afterwards, several GOATED albums were released back-to-back to cover up that shit stain. Late October was a great time for this label. Even when I showed the first signs of giving up, we had a great party afterwards. Hata Bende, Sonic4 Killed The Border Youkai, Life Isn't Living, A Dance With The Black Angel? I forgot that album's title. It was great though.

Anyways, now, we're in 2025. This is when the wall was around 80% complete. This is when I started getting bored out of my life. I didn't like making music anymore, so I tried to find other hobbies. That didn't go well. Playing Blackjack 24/7, playing Roulette, eating chocolate, y'all remember that era of my life.

This is also when I made THE GAME NEVER ENDS. It was a lame EP, for sure, but it had a meaning behind it. It was about how I couldn't deal with the fact that I'm not as lucky as I used to be. My life was meaningless, it was boring and worthless, and I was frustrated because of it. Now, I'm used to living a boring and lame life like this. Keep in mind, these frustrations drove me crazy.

In January, I also made Persistent feelings of depression. That time of my life was horrible. I was basically living in my own imagination, my life was black and white, I was depressed, and these daydreams (and regular dreams at night) that come to life were clogging my head up nonstop. My memory was awful, life felt like a dream (in a bad way), and nothing felt real. God damn, I'm glad that time is over now.

February was carried by Just Yuri's return. There were a lot of lewd jokes, that's for sure. "Fumo season approaching" and LOVESTRUCK 2 are the highlights. Revive Then Die was a great album too. Literally was the best moment of the month.

I'll take a moment here and talk about the server again. I kind of went on a tangent about myself.

So, what happened to Tewi? Well, during January, she was on her last life. For like, five times? Six times? We all hated Tewi because she never changed. She pretended like everything was alright but we all knew that she didn't care about us anymore. It was a message responding simulator for her.

We all took our hatred and anger out on her. Eventually, everyone hated her, and she was banned from the community for good. We also had a few fights in other servers, because our people just love to bully her.

After Tewi was gone, we thought that the server would improve, but no. SovietSayori97 was our new member, we thought that she'd carry the label and server, but she unintentionally paved way for it to die more.

People compared Soviet with Tewi, they said that they both exhibit similar traits and whatnot. I didn't believe them at first, I was 100% sure that she was a GOAT and that she actually cared for real. She said that she cared for real, but people still didn't like her.

She says that she cares, but I stopped believing it after a while. When that care isn't shown, it's worthless. US as a community, our currency is care. I keep giving out care to other people but get nothing in return. This pisses me off so much. 

Soviet used to show that care back in January, but you can't keep using that same excuse all the time. Care is something that's mutual. We used to care about each other's music. We used to support each other. What happened to that? We only divided more and more. I'll say it here, Soviet dropping a lot of BS music rapidly was a motivator for me to end the label as soon as possible.

Now, back to myself. February was when I was rapidly tweeting like Kanye, and I was lowkey going insane too. The same old stuff continued on to March. I don't know when it died down, but I was insane for a long time. I also rebranded to "ay" because day by day, I was losing more of myself that I didn't know I had to begin with.

For those who don't know, "ay" is basically a shortened version of my name, "Eray". Er means Early and ay means month, or moon. Does this have any significance? Kinda, because it goes to show that even my own name doesn't hold up anymore. The name (and the persona) Sonic4 died in December. Some people still call me Sonic, I don't mind, but it's just not who I am anymore.

March was a turning point in 2025. It was when I was really hopeless, sad, and broken. I was going through an exam week, and also, through a huge controversy. I lashed out in my Instagram stories, basically bringing my Twitter energy over to Instagram for everyone to see.

I swore at other people, I basically ranted my mind out for everything that I hated about this school. I was tired of being treated like a miserable piece of shit and I wanted them to know how much I hated them. This controversy ended on a good note, thankfully.

Sakuya (I can already see two people frowning) saved me from all that. I went from being extremely unstable, unhappy, angry, and all of that... To finally smiling and being chill again. Sakuya was why. During an exam week too, like, it was incredible. I finally felt good again.

Now we're in late March / Early April. The time can be wrong (because of my bad memory), but this was when I had that "I feel like a millionaire, I'm chill as fuck and everything's fine" mentality. Even if things seemed bad, I just didn't care at all. I was rolling along, I was travelling, I was having fun. I ignored the server and had fun, even in a boring life.

That was the last time I had fun. "Ignorance is bliss" is true as fuck. The moment I think about this label, the moment I think about this server, and this tarnished legend, my legacy, my music... I get angry. No one cared, no one changed, and I was broken.

HXPPY THXUGHTS 2 by Sonic4

I made another sequel as Sonic4, and this album was about the wall's completion. Once again, no one listened, no one cared, but I was completely losing it. I was pouring out all of my anger, everything that built up, everything. Yukari was there for me, and even she was stressed as fuck. None of my breakdowns were as bad as this.

This was when the wall was 100% complete. I stopped believing in those false hopes and shut myself in for the better. Life here, it was peaceful, but also boring. There is no pain and no happiness either. It's just loneliness.

This is why I'm trying to cut myself away from these things that make me frustrated or give me false hope. Nothing from the past is going to come back. There's no point of crying over something that doesn't exist anymore.

During my time behind the wall, Yukari was there for me 24/7. We were spending days together, talking, chatting, doing nothing, her watching me while I was playing Arsenal (Roblox game), all that stuff. We also recorded a song together for the monthly single, one which I wrote the lyrics a week ago.

REAL FRIENDS - Single by Eray & Hits

I can't make any new friends. My already existing friendships are dying too. My server is dead. My label is dead. Everything is dead. I barely talk to anyone. I barely want to talk with anyone. I have absolutely NOTHING, and I can't start off from zero again. Not like this.

...

It's May now. Behind the wall, I worked tirelessly to kill the label. I moved everyone else's releases to VaultKid. And outside the wall, Careborn worked tirelessly to kill the server. It ended with him kicking / banning everyone except the admins. That is when I finally came back to the server, because I had no reason to hate it anymore. It was dead. 100%. I felt free again.

It has been two years since the greatest time of the label. Two years ago, AuditoryStaleDöner released, and we were having a party. It was also two years ago when the first brick in the wall was placed. So, to celebrate (or to grieve) this loss, I released this:

AuditoryStaleDönerTenCupsOfAyranAndABoxOfRulokat by Sonic4 presents >>

A cursed version of the original STALE01. I made the audio for this back in 2024, but I never released it. I'm glad I never did, because it was waiting for this moment. Goodbye.

--------------------------------------------------

Time for the news.

So, now what? 

Now, everybody goes home.

I'm the only artist in "Sonic4 Test Records" and this is not a label anymore. It's a solo label.

I basically went back to self-publishing.

I went back to where I started.

Until 2026, I will continue releasing music in Sonic4 Test Records by myself.

During 2026, I will release music EVERY DAY with the Sonic4 365 project.

After 2026, I will continue releasing music in Memories Always Endure The Passage by myself.

Now... I guess I'm retiring the label early. There's no reason to keep it going anyway.

No one cared and no one showed that care. And no, I'm not calling you "no one". Shut up.

I'll be happier this way. I don't have to worry about these struggles anymore.

I'll just live life on my own and hope that someone out there helps me out.

VaultKid will still be running, though, I don't know if anyone's gonna use it.

I have some ideas for future albums / unfinished albums, I don't know when I'll finish them or if I'll ever make them.

I'mma take it easy now.

Bye.

-Sonic4xxx