call in sick (02/17)

Being in the utter infatuation with you is like a job or a task ill never stop doing 

It's long and tedious at times and brings rewards damn near never

But when the rewards do come it is worth it, a side glance and a laugh, a reminder that you do enjoy my company, or an offhand comment about us together 

These things will make it all worth it and make me remain ever loyal 

As i drive through the city tonight i look into all the windows 

I look at how the furniture is placed, what lights are on, if there are pictures or other decor stranded about and i dont do this to be weird of off putting to those, i have no ill intent 

I see these signs of life, of true individual life and i think of you 

I think of your life and just how separate it is from mine 

I think of how we may one day in my own fantasy decorate our home in the city

I think of how in my absence you would decorate, i want to see how i influence you

I think of all the movies, conversation, touches, glances, and moments shared in our someday combined walls strewn with our own decorations 

The thought does bring me confort though its fake 

This drive through town was supposed to be relaxing, a vacation from my work 

And yet it returns to me 

Would you return to me?