I miss going out

Gosh I really miss getting stoned, and dancing drunk with loud music, but something is happening to me. I'm in a point where when I want to get drunk I get a blackout very quickly and I wake up hungover but I just don't remember anything about last night, and I know it's normal but literally I just remember the first hour of the night, and it just feels like I wasted a good time (I don't go to clubs very often) but now I really want to go clubbing and dance. I have to get drunk or high to do it tho, cuz I'm very awkward and shy lmao :/