Navel Gazer

When I lived with my grandparents i would sleep down the other end of the house in the beige room where the bed was full of lumps and the air was thick and it would turn into a horrible cocoon that I would curl myself up in. I wouldn't leave the big beige room at all until it was mid afternoon where I would go to the kitchen and take a spoonful of honey and sit outside on the hot tiled courtyard and spread the small spoon of honey out in front of me and sit and wait for the ants to come and surround it. and I'd sit for hours until it was cool enough for me to crawl back up into my cocoon and sometimes my mother would come into the room and ask me why I was so upset and if i wanted anything for dinner. and id come back outside eventually and the ants and all the honey would be gone and I'd walk down the cul-de-sac barefoot because it was warm even in winter and id breathe deeply and the air would be sweet and I would open my fists and see the small pink crescent shaped marks left in my palms like wishes I'd somehow forgotten to blow away

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