chat am I gay

I've always liked women, they're gorgeous, they get me in a way only a woman could just like I get them because I'M a woman, and no man can understand what that experience is, women can be masculine just as they can be feminine, all women are beautiful in their own way and they're so talented like holy shit, a man no matter how well they know a woman's anatomy could never get a woman for real. Men to me are uhh, getting worse. I've always found them attractive but only a certain sort. Basically I'm more critical with men then women but I'd say I'm still attracted to a man because if I pulled up performance pictures of Slash in 1987 I'd start barking.

Writing this because lately they're becoming less attractive to me, in a personality way more then physical appearance. This generation and the past 2 is for SURE to blame for the death of romance, I know it's not every man, but does that really matter when it's most? It's so hard to find lover boys, now of days they don't even see women as human and it disgusts me to a point whenever I'm talking to a guy and they say something that turns me off from them I genuinely get the urge to cut them off. (and I have before.) 

I won't say women are all sunshine and rainbows, some women can be just as bad as the guys but if we're getting deeper into it I think I've definitely seen way too many domestic violence cases / relationship cases of men hurting women in ways that have torn them apart, not just that but being a victim of men as I've grown up, I've had an older man thats VERY close to my family say I have a little sexy voice, (I was 14/15) and the same man say "If I kissed you on the mouth you wouldn't like that very much though" As I was waking up from a nap in the car when he dropped me home.

Cat calling, sexual harassment when I'm walking to guitar lessons, WHEN I'm at guitar lessons, hearing the way guys talk about girls?? etc. It shouldn't have ever gotten to the point it is now with me, where when I'm around men of this generation I'm disgusted. (granted, they give me things to be disgusted about.) But it has. But it's not just the men around me,

it's the ones out there that say "not all men" comfortably every time a woman shares her trauma, proving her point that they aren't safe, and are more worried about their reputation than her reality. It's the ones out there that rape, and they never do it because of desire. If that was the case they wouldn't be doing it to animals and children, it's about control and power over their victims, why pedos prey on children in broken homes, why they prey on vulnerable women. Don't get me started on the ones trying to put down laws on the very kind of women that birthed them.

I do however, genuinely think if I found the ONE, the guy that has a great music taste, doesn't make me uncomfortable, is willing to go slow, buys me flowers, holds me. I'd love him, but that's a bit unrealistic in this day and age.

I think I'm bisexual even still? But I'm leaning WAY towards women. Like you're telling me you physically bleed more in your lifetime then a man ever will and you're an entrepreneur? A mechanic? Have a blue collar job and doing it just as well, even BETTER? Women are just so amazing.