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hi again !!
today i’m going over a topic i never go a day without thinking about. it has shaped me and my entire personality! it’s a massive part of my identity, and that is.. feminism.
feminism and women’s rights are a topic i am deeply passionate about, but just as much as i love them, they also have me crying for hours on end. because, for my human rights to be discussed, and to have been denied for centuries (and still up to now in many places. hell, everywhere.), it’s such a bittersweet feeling.
you stand up for yourself and then wonder why you even need to? why must i fight for rights i owe?
we have feminism but not “maninism”, because they are in no need for a movement. men have been granted everything. every right. even the right to shut us up.
that’s a bit of a grim start, but it’s true. i am & forever will be a proud feminist. i cry and bleed for all the women who have fought to give me what i have today. the brave warriors, the beautiful souls who endured men’s atrocity and confronted it head on. burnt at the stake, brutally murdered, discarded, silenced. gentle girls, wise mothers— all alike. living with your life in the hands of men, raised to be dumb and beautiful.
— to quote my beloved jo march:
“Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition, and they've got talent, as well as just beauty. I'm so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for.”
“little women” holds a special spot in my heart, and that quote pretty much says it all. women, women, women. the creators of life itself, the goodness of this world. cast aside and put down for what? why is a woman only good for bearing children and caring for a husband?
never ever in my entire life will i forgive men for what they’ve made (and still make) women go through, i will never look at a man without acknowledging this is my oppressor. i am utterly disgusted by the sight of men, and i have every right to be. i have days that i entirely spend boiling in rage and hatred for them, for the injustice, for the system. a system we might never leave. an unfair life i have been suggested to because of what’s between my legs.
when i was younger, and most especially later around 15, i always had this fantasy of being a boy. i was allowed to wear whatever i want and could do pretty much whatever, but i was not a boy. getting a tap on the thigh at family gathering to “sit like a lady”, to be clean and tidy because being messy is for “boys”, being told to go back to the kitchen because that’s where i belong, always being looked at — no matter how subtle — as inferior. it was everywhere. “having balls” meant being brave. “you (insert any verb) like a girl!” was an insult many boys feared. being laughed at during p.e if we were split into boys and girls teams, or girls always being picked last. “bitch” for a woman and “son of a bitch” for a man, like the worst he could do was because of his mother. “slut”, “whore”, “hoe”, all insults used mainly for women. and will you find a male derogatory word? no. “manwhore”, “son of a whore”, there we go!
during most of my life growing up, i felt this sense of shame and embarrassment for being a woman. like my gender itself was humiliating. went through that “tomboy” phase, or a pick me one, desperate to be considered a boy or be liked by them.
“bruh girl”, “one of the boys”, “girls are too much drama”, “girls : (insert dumb action), meanwhile boys: (insert funny/cool picture)”, jokes about women being unable to drive, or being stupid (was very heavy on blonde girls, and still is.)
it hurt a lot. being a girl was hard, so the easy way out was to be on boys’ side. everything boys did was “cool” and “fun”. like girls only went shopping and baked cookies. and looking back at it, it’s cruel. treating girls like babies, the collective hatred for the color pink, red and blue being associated with men, and they had all the cool super heroes and shows. and all you had as a girl was breasts.
girls were having their self-esteem crushed from their youngest age, to grow up and worship men, to believe your worth was always tied to one. when at school, for a boy to be cool was to “not need” girls or for him to “play” them, while for a girl it was to actually get a boy and have him stay.
of course, different experiences for everyone, but nobody can deny that girls got the short end of the stick. almost every girl had a tomboy phase, but i never hear of a boy going through a.. femboy phase i guess?? if anything, even the thought of having something in common with girls was insulting and humiliating.
as you grow up, it gets worse. talking stages, snapchat scores, your first crush, your first kiss, your first relationship.. porn. oh i’ll write an entire entry about porn later.
i feel like the first kiss itself doesn’t get talked about enough. i can only speak for myself, but most girls i know relate in some way.
the first kiss, a girl’s dream portrayed in every piece of media since her childhood, a princess being saved by a kiss, the female lead’s first kiss being portrayed as this magical romantic event girls should revolve their lives around. but in truth.. there is no magic. there is no amazing happy feeling. it’s just two pairs of lips on each other, and hopefully a guy with brushed teeth.
i don’t mean to downplay it. i am aware the circumstances for mine weren’t so favourable, but i still expected it more than that. but all i found myself wanting was to run away. it felt like all the fantasies and scenarios plummeted to the ground, a bubble popped; this was it. and then i found myself thinking, “what did i really expect? of course that’s all it is.”
it’s no big deal, really. it’s sweet if it’s with someone you love, i suppose, which wasn’t really the case for me. but still— it just felt like a slap in the face. the “butterflies” felt more like crippling stress. “huh?”, “was that fine?”, “god this is so awkward”, “what the fuck did i just do”, “i’m so stupid”.
my keypoint from this is how over-romanticized this all is, especially to girls. because unlike me, he didn’t seem to think much of it at all. just a stupid grin on his face, did he even think? young girls have romantic stories shoved down their throats, with knights and princes and beautiful horses they come in. always saved, always picked. what do boys get? stories with fighters and cars, and maybe a hot woman inserted with a minor role, or even if it’s a major role, she’s at least weaker than the main character. while for girls, the woman, the princess, the captive, the weak delicate flower, she has to wait. she needs the man, always. cinderella, mistreated and a maid, saved by a prince. aurora, cursed and asleep, saved by a man (itself very questionable as you grow up). snow white, same thing.
all of these are just how misogyny will never truly leave us, no matter how subtle. and yet, none of this compares to what women have been through. needing a husband, a father, hell— even a son mattered more than you. the man owns everything, and you’re dispensable. you can be discarded, so earn your spot. needing a man to go out, to buy stuff, to breathe. being unchaperoned was punishable.
purity. virginity. oh i have so so much to say. so much more. but i feel like i typed enough for today, my thoughts aren’t really that consistent, but hey, this is my blog, so everything goes!
i love women so much, i always will. i am so proud to be a woman, even with all its hardships and oppression. i will always fight for what my beautiful, amazing women fought for. i will always talk about them, and never ever will i shy away from feminism.
feminism and womanhood aee woven into my identity, i am nothing without it. speak up! speak up for the girls who can’t!
Comments
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xqh
seems like a weird angle to portray men as these perfect beings who live life without issue or struggle. doesnt sound feminist to me. let alone factually accurate. (i can list a male analog to any point you mentioned here)
fair enough for caring about this kind of thing though, just felt a bit more like riffing than a statement.
she never really said that men had/have perfect lives. she was insinuating that men had better lives than most women. I can agree with her statements- because being born as a man is already a privilege. Men get to walk outside at night with little to no of fear being attacked or r@ped, men get no periods, men aren't objectified as much as women were; or are still are in the present, men get to be proud of themselves for having a high body count- while women are portrayed as a "used object" once they have something similar or even lower of a number. So if you're telling me that her statements aren't factually correct, you are clearly mistaken. (these statements does not mean I am invalidating men's experience btw)
you do realize that women weren't even allowed a lot of things in the past. they were taken away of their freedom to education, peace (in general), and their rights. That's why feminism exists, and misandry only exists as a RESPONSE to misogny.
bear in mind, this is her experience with men. not yours, not mine, HERS.
I am a biological man. I, myself, am disgusted with men.
so you tell me now how it's not factually correct that men have had better lives and have been misogynistic throughout the centuries; even movies portrayed men as @ssholes, because I am more than willing to prove you wrong in every way possible :)
cheers, bud !
by mellow; ; Report
hii hi!
of course you can disagree with my statements, but you absolutely cannot deny misogyny. you cannot deny men have it much better than women. men struggle too, but like my friend replied to you, you can’t compare it with what women go and have gone through. what’s a male analogue to women being deprived of education? of driving? of even not adhering to a strict dress code? name me a country where a man can’t study, or gets paid less, and so on.
misogyny is an undeniable fact, statistics do not lie. nobody has it perfect in this world, but there are CLEAR differences in privilege. that’s like saying “white people have it hard too!” under a post about black people. it’s tone deaf, and you clearly cannot compare the two. because one has experienced things the other could never.
and of course i am speaking about myself, this is a blog where i basically talk to myself loll
being able to walk out at night without crippling fear itself is a privilege, being able to go solo hiking without a ridiculous amount of safety measures (which will not make you feel as safe as if you were a man), and basically any activity.
being catcalled, belittled, let alone periods and the unimaginable cramps, and so on and so forth. you can’t deny that there is a clear hierarchy and women especially have paid the price.
how many women have died at the hands of their husbands? or their fathers? honor killings?
by lina ⋆˚࿔; ; Report
most those countries that treat women the harshest have conscription, you know?
and women dont get paid less, they just arent well represented in certain industries like labor thus causing a pay disparity.
slutshaming is analogous to virginshaming, women are the hypergamous gender so why would you slutshame a man? "incel" is one of the worst things you can call someone these days.
periods are misogynistic now???? see what i say about the riffing? should we protest against periods?
so please understand my experiences as a woman when i say all this. i dont seek to invalidate womens experiences in favour of men. i do feel a deep sense of sadness for some of the issues me and other women in my life have to face - making it a cat vs dog scenario seeks to help no-one. it simply reinforces these gender roles you claim to resent. instead of sitting around being disgusted by yourself as a man you should seek to make POSITIVE change, instead of using it as an excuse to hate. which we already have enough of in this world.
https://wcc.stanford.edu/community-resources-stanford/gender-equity-websites-blogs-resources
by xqh; ; Report
i do understand YOUR experiences, so do understand mine. where did i say periods are misogynistic
im simply saying a clear disadvantage and unfortunate thing women go through. if i were to point out its misogynistic manifestations, perhaps i’d talk about how girls are treated differently after puberty. how women used to be sent off to marriage right after getting periods, as they were “mature” enough. how it’s an expense that’s unfortunately still a luxury in some very poor countries.
speaking up about something doesn’t mean that’s all i do.
maybe you are doing fine, but misogyny has ruined many women. thankfully you have nothing to complain about, but many do, and giving them a voice is a good thing.
and you seriously can’t compare slutshaming to virginshaming. calling a man an incel hurts his feelings— women were killed if “impure”. some fathers killed their daughters for it. you really can’t compare the consequences for both. one exists online, the other has ruined lives.
in many countries, there still are wage differences for men and women who work the same jobs. with or without conscription. it doesn’t hurt to admit that women are systematically oppressed. we are working against that, and speaking about it is always good. that’s like asking why poets write about war instead of stopping it.
i get what you mean, and yes, i do wish we could all live in peace with each other, but it’s very unfair to many women to act like this all isn’t true. when many women are being sex trafficked as we speak, how many girls are still sold to prostitution for poor families who have no other means, how the porn and beauty industry awfully exploit women. how a man with rape allegations can still be president.
i’m not victimizing myself, and sitting in self loathing, i’m speaking up about my experiences, and about real world issues, and it’s unfair for you to discredit what women have fought for you to have.
i do not ask for you to kill the men you know or hate them, i’m simply asking of you to acknowledge that we are clearly unprivileged compared to men. and to not downplay the impact of misogyny.
by lina ⋆˚࿔; ; Report
honestly, this statement of yours feels like you’re mixing up words that my friend said. you literally made assumptions and went on from there. not once did she say that periods are misogynistic. what you’re doing rn is called - victim blaming, where you’re blaming MY FRIEND for being a victim of society that is filled with men that has put themselves on a higher level and objectified women even as of today. and you can’t say that women who are being treated harshly only live with countries that have conscriptions, because even now- misogyny exists almost everywhere and maybe even everywhere. Just because it doesn’t happen around you or u don’t see it, DOES NOT MEAN it doesn’t happen everywhere else.
you say you feel a sense of sadness for what’s happening to women, but when my friend shared this blog to the public, all you wanted to give was a male analogue. really hypocritical, is it not?
also, don’t even try and give her advice to be better for being the one who’s on the shorter side of the stick and clearly the one who’s been treated harshly for the mere fact that she was born a woman. You’re a woman yourself, yet you give me ‘mansplaining’ energy.
don’t even try to send stanford equity articles when u clearly don’t even know what ur talking about or have a bigger picture for everything that’s been happening.
In truth, It should be you who should be better and change for yourself. Not Lina, You.
by mellow; ; Report
CELLProcessor
same, cant believe that the internet turned a whole gender into a joke (7'8 btw)
yknow, It's men like you that are the reason misandry exists. you go and make a valid statement then turn it into something that boosts ur ego and is obviously fake. If you don't have something genuine to say, then shut up. It's that easy. rather than proving that men are these "disgusting", "horrible", "misogynistic" humans, why don't you change for once, eh?
If you have nothing valid to say or in any way genuine, stop speaking. I don't want to hear the opinion of someone who posts comments online just to boost your stupid ego.
much love, mate :3
by mellow; ; Report
Ey it was just a tiny little joke okay? I do respect women and their rights, i just wanted to get a little chuckle out of it. And no, im not trying to boost my ego by saying im 7'8 lmao (9'10 btw)
by CELLProcessor; ; Report
Ey it was just a tiny little joke okay? I do respect women and their rights, i just wanted to get a little chuckle out of it. And no, im not trying to boost my ego by saying im 7'8 lmao (9'10 btw)
by CELLProcessor; ; Report
see. you said it yourself. "I just wanted to get a little chuckle out of it" If women's rights are something that u want to get a chuckle out of, then I'm sure you won't mind if I find your whole being to be idiotic and something I laugh at. I'm sure your ego is that big- because you have a face that only a mother can love <3
I'm not interested in arguing with someone like you anymore :)
keep safe, and good luck, sweetheart :3
by mellow; ; Report
Have gday <3
by CELLProcessor; ; Report
hi! i genuinely want you to sit with yourself and ask if the joke was worth it? did you feel it added to your statement? is it really funny in this context? i know why you commented it and that you found it funny, but i genuinely want you to dig deeper into it. these are the ways in which misogyny is always perpetuated, subtle enough, but very present. i do hope you do what i told you, and that you understand why it should stop :)
insinuating that you care only to “be picked by a girl”, i know you (hopefully??) didn’t mean it, but it’s sayings like this that harm us. you’re allowed to support women, you don’t have to make it sound funny and back handed. misogyny is something to be taken seriously, and you’re not “unfunny” or “too woke” if you think so. not every issue is meant to be joked about, okay?
i genuinely, genuinely mean this, and want you to think about it and be a better person!
by lina ⋆˚࿔; ; Report
Look mate you might have been affected by mysogny but you gotta see the difference between a joke and actual sexism. Sorry if it actually made you pissed off but honestly i found it pretty funny. I hope youre doing good because god damn thats a ton of words for someone that made a sexist joke (geniuenly though im down to chat if shits bad)
by CELLProcessor; ; Report
im not slow, i do know the difference, but that doesnt make it any better. but hey its okay, if my message didnt get through theres nothing i can do about it 🤷 and im totally okay, simply trying to show you not everythings funny
u do u
by lina ⋆˚࿔; ; Report
It’s honestly entertaining how the simplest of words could not pierce through ur tiny little brain @cellprocessor. you’re literally the definition of disappointing. like you’re the exact symbol of it, and you think jokes are able to prove that you having a chuckle when it comes to women’s rights - is valid? you don’t even make decent jokes, mate. you’re the joke itself <3
by mellow; ; Report
@mellow aight but like, i dont get it. I know its not something to be joked about but like my intentions were never to hurt anyone. And i aint no joke im the mightiest in the Universe!!!!
by CELLProcessor; ; Report