rant about intimacy and stuff

i wish male yearning was a thing, i want a man to yearn for me, to be healthy obsessed with me, to love my personality and how i talk and my weirdness. 

if only guys werent so obsessed with my body and my looks. i just want sweet, innocent love, and the rest can come later. 

im so tired of intimacy being so normalized. it's the closest you can get to someones soul and yet society has turned it until basically nothing, just a hobby at best. im not going to say im perfect or that i never want intimacy with someone, but i will say that i dont want it to be the first thing my future bf thinks of when he sees me. i want to be intimate out of love, not lust, out of a need for closeness, not just pleasure.

im assuming most people would think about a specific act when intimacy is mentioned, but theres plenty of other ways to be intimate with someone. theres physical intimacy (obviously), but theres also emotional intimacy. there's also vulnerability, which is both physical and emotional as well. unfortunately i am very vulnerable with people very fast and i trust easily, which is something im working on. but people forget theres other ways to be close with people that isnt just that or completely platonically.

anyway yeah thats pretty much it