3 months in

Hey yall been a long time has it? How’s life? Is it kicking ya in the ass or are you going better? 

Im gonna tell ya a lil bit of my life: I love drawing. I’ve always loved drawing. Even wanted to become a (famous) artist someday. Big imagination, right? Drew ever since birth, quite literally. But, things have changed. I am now stressed with school, I don’t have as much motivation as I did before, before all the things that made me become who I am now. I see other artists whether my age or younger do better than me. I feel happy for them but I can’t help but feel a little.. envious. Envious that they’re better than me, i know it’s not their fault though. As much as I want to be happy for them, I can’t help but be ashamed of myself for not getting better, for not having enough motivation to draw anymore. 

Now I’m in the path of life where I have to choose my future, and honestly, even if I just have one year left. I can’t decide. I don’t know which school I want to attend as much as I wanted to be an artist, I can’t really depend on it. Since, if something goes wrong I wouldn’t be able to fill my plate with food. Even if I wanted to be what I wanted since I was little I have to have a plan b if things go wrong. I understand how sad little me would feel if her future self would choose something else over what she originally wanted to do. I don’t have enough time to regret my decisions. I must move on and deal with it.