5. ✩✩ Finally happy about my life choices ✩✩ 9.5.2025

As the title says, Im finally happy about it.

Since I finished my elementary I hated my life and school choices, I went to art school and I need to be honest, it ruined me, I dont find that much happiness in drawing anymore as i did before and the thing is it didnt gave me anything in life if I dont count the fact Im more of perfectionist when it comes to design (my minor was app design.... horrible choice tbh) or better knowledge in art history. 

But finally.. when I came to choose my college, I chose teaching, more particulary preschool and elementary pedagogics. I was anxious at first since I have social anxiety and this job NEEDS you to be social and communicative, but thats also why I want it. My social anxiety was at its peak when i was finishing my elementary, always had anxiety attacks for no reason, when started art school I somehow manage to "fix" my anxiety, mostly because I was required to always make presentations and speak in front of people and speaking about my designs, thoughs, which i never did. I took my art school and now my college as my exposure therapy, dont know if its healthy way to take it that way but I am. 

I may not have much friends in college since my anxiety got worse and blah blah cant really speak with my classmates since sometimes I have no idea what to talk about... BUT... I found out I really want to teach kids. It literaly makes me forget about stress and that I even have anxiety, it brings me so much joy. It takes a lot of time and makes you a lot of times frustrated while making a teaching plan when even in class the kids may ruin your whole plan but, I love it there. I already taught them about wood animals and their footsteps (during practice), about books and for last day I decided to challenge myself and go for PE in preschool (teaching them jump techniques) and I was so happy when they said they loved it and that even my practice teacher said that she loved the way I managed the kids during PE, what I prepared for them, saying that im ready for this job :)) We dont have a lot of practice hours which kinda sucks, one day a week for 8 weeks wont give you a lot. 

Wanted to yap a little so yea, it may continue since Im about to finish second year and will soon have to think about my bachelor thesis hahaha. 

K bye