shit is hard

recently one of my best friends spread a lie about me and the rest of them got on the train and decided to collectively cut me off and go talk shit about me. not cool! and i had such a small circle of friends and we were so tight knit and all it took was one lie to make everyone be like woah wtf get this bitch out which kind of makes me wonder whether they liked me to begin with? it kind of is heartbreak and i lowkey went through all 5 stages of grief but im at acceptance now its just kind of shit timing. man alevels r really doing it for me ughhhh

its not even like they are that hard i used to be such a weapon bless but the last year or two have been so so shit for me ive been in and out of therapy on a hundred different meds literally just surviving and its soooo so long its kind of disheartening going from a*s to b*s and c*s lol i guess si alway just have to remind myself to live in the present and work with what i got, right?

i also recently found out my son, my rabbit, is overweight LOL  bless him

as bad as the timing is ive recently been able to get back into the things i used to loooooove before everything went bad like art and discovering new music and writing and cooking, and ive been vegetarian for four months now! what the hell ><

idk how ill feel abt leaving the school ive been at for 7 years, two months from now, but right now im kind of psyched to go to uni and just start from scratch. i should just create like a polar opposite persona 

i think its a little surreal that im going from seeing the same faces every single day to a whole new environment with brand new people each with their own lives, like are they even real people? do they exist? are they thinking about the same thing right now wherever they are?

despite everything that happened, my best friend, bestest besties, favourite person in the whole world, actually took the time to reach out and listen to what i had to say and realise the other lot were just bullshit, so i love her to death and i hope we can be buried in the same grave together

1:58AM