rant

okay first blog, also i know my grammar is shitty but i’m not doing all that. anyways, yesterday i dropped a friend. for some context, i struggle with mental health issues. i’m doing much better then i was before (almost a year and a half clean!), but i’m still not entirely recovered. So this friend also struggles with her mental health, but she is not in recovery. because of that, she can talk about really negative stuff all the time. so for a while i’ve though about dropping her, but i wanted to wait until the end of the school year so that she would have to summer to feel better(?). however, we ate lunch together yesterday and she said that they though we were sort of drifting apart. she asked if i thought we were drifting apart and i accidentally hesitated, so she knew i wanted to say something. she kept pushing me to tell them what it was, and i just started to say what i wanted. i’m gonna type out what i said, but i can’t remember word for word what i said. 

“i just thing we need some distance from eachother. now, im not saying that i think your mental health doesn’t matter, but i’ve worked really hard to get where i am with MY mental health. You can get hung up on the negatives and talk about some really crappy stuff, and in turn that’s sort of dragging me down. I also just thing we’re two very different people. usually that isint a big issue, but it just feels like we aren’t really clicking. i don’t want there to be any bad blood between us, i just thing it would be better for both of us if we went our separate ways.”

I think i was nice, but then again, there’s really no nice way to say you want to stop being friends with someone. she said it was fine but when they walked away, i saw her crying. i feel really shitty bc i made them cry, but i also feel a weight off my shoulders since i finally told them what I wanted to. anywho that’s my rant bye bye