RRR | Pt. 12 - Problems (Reo's Random Rants)

Everyone knows that with a relationship, comes problems. With problems, comes arguments. Problems and arguments are a natural thing, a phase if you will. When first getting into a relationship, things will always feel neutral if not happy, but as things go, being around the person enough will allow you to see so much more about them that you haven't seen before.

For example, one of my more recent relationships with a girl, let's just call her L. Now L was a sweet, but shy girl at first. She had a hard time expressing herself and an even harder time with communicating, which alone doesn't sound that bad until we get a little more into it. When problems arose, me and her would argue quite often. But no matter who was in the wrong, I was always the one who ended up apologizing. L failed to take accountability for her own actions many times and often gaslit me into believing that I was the problem. This eventually put my mind into a very self blamed state and I only seen myself as a nuisance to her and other's around me. Me and her did break up a few times, and each time I always had my friends warn me not to go back, and some who hoped that me and her would work things out. While some never believed me when I said that she could change, I would always try my best to convince them otherwise, but change never happened. With each break up, it'd always end badly. Everytime I felt like I was done with her, she would lovebomb me back into the relationship. And with me being in a vulnerable state of mind, I fell for it everytime.

I felt stupid for always believing her when she told me that things would be different, I genuinely put all of my trust and effort into this girl, but L proved to me that not everyone is worth putting in time for. No matter how many times we tried, no difference was ever made. She never took accountability, she never stopped holding those grudges on me, and she never stopped making me feel like the bad guy. I felt alot more at ease after things ended officially. At first I blamed myself for putting all of that trust into L just to end up being wrong, but I should know better than to feel at fault for trusting someone.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, the issue isn't the problems, it's how you deal with them. Value yourself and always change for the better. Never let problems linger, talk things out with your partner and figure out how to fix it. Improvement takes work and dedication, don't waste your time on someone who doesn't even have time for themselves.