Life Update! (getting over a depressive month)

Okaayyy... So if any of you have seen the past few blogs I made in the past month, you'd see that I sucked ass. My life was/still in shit. Now to update my situation, I just graduated senior year! Meaning I won't see anyone that made my senior year a living hell, anymore! Yay! I'm honestly so fucking happy that there is no reason for me o ever get anxious again that I might walk in the hallway and suddenly bump into them or that there will be an instance where i'm gonna have to interact with them in any certain way. I handled the situation both greatly and poorly. Greatly, because I got to complete the year without looking absolutely miserable. like I walked through those halls like I was not eating literal shit every night HAHAHAHAHA. I meant that in a way where my physical appearance was not affected by the situation, in fact, I made it a point to look better. BUT I also handled the situation poorly because I buried every emotion I was supposed to feel, every feeling there was to feel. In short, I tried to just forget the shit that happened to me, but never moved on. i pretended like everything was okay, everything was good. I was masking the entire time, and kept finding things that were distracting me from everything that was happening. Then graduation came, and it's finally summer vacation. And all those emotions, all those feelings I buried down, came at me like a fucking volcano eruption. For the entirety of April, I had lost all my self-worth and self-value. In short, I hated myself so much. It got to the point where I literally fought with everyone who tried to assess what was happening to me. I knew they just cared about me, but I was already in the depths of spiralling downwards. I didn't get to enjoy my birth month, and my birthday this year, all because my mind kept on telling me I wasn't  worth it, and I wasn't deserving of anything. Anyways, fast forward, I had a wake-up call by the end of April that convinced me to go fix my life already. Because no one else is going to be able to help me, if I wasn't going to help myself. So there, I started this month, the month of May, filled with hope and a new mindset. Life is going to fuck you up, again and again, but you can't do anything about that but to just dust your shoulders, dust your knees, and keep on moving. If life's gonna fuck you up, fuck life even harder. I hope that for all of you, life will start looking up too <33 If no one believes in you, I certainly will ;))